Biden Notes for Veep Debate

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Here at The American Catholic we occasionally receive unsolicited items.  We are currently in possession of what purports to be Biden’s notes in preparation for his Veep debate with Paul Ryan this Thursday.  Here they are:

1.  No gaffes?-Obama told me not to make any gaffes.  I told the big guy to f—–g relax, because I never make any gaffes.

2.  No F-Bombs-Sheesh, Obama can be loud when he’s upset!  No F-Bombs, OK.   As if I ever swear in public!

3.  No biker chicks-Yeah, I don’t want to have to sleep on the couch again for a week after the debate.

4.  Lie, Lie, LieAs truthful as I am, this will be hard for me to do, but I will do my best.

5.   No foreign accents-A guy puts on an Indian accent one time, and he never hears the end of it.

6.  No plagiarism-Why did Axelrod tell me that?

7.   Chinese fund-raising-Remember not to say anything about how we have been raising illegal donations from the Chinese.  What does Hillary think I am, an idiot?

8.   Don’t be scared!-Huh I can take that punk Ryan.  Just because he handed his head to Obama doesn’t mean that he can outhink the Bidster!

9.    Gravitas-Yeah, no one can act with greater dignity than Old Joe!

10.   Win the debate-Grand slam time, especially since Obama messed up the first one so badly.  Uncle Joe to the rescue!

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  1. I’m sure his mic will be 5 sec delayed so they can clean it up as soon as it comes outta his mouth. Actions are something else altogether.

  2. Truth be told: I have more trust in Uncle Joe than in “57-states” Obama.

    He could not possibly do worse.

    No wait!

    The media wouldn’t cover for him?!

  3. Remember when it would have been a grave threat to the nation if Sarah Palin was a heartbeat away from the presidency? I wonder why we aren’t hearing from the same people when a certified fool actually is a heartbeat away from the presidency?

  4. Joe Biden is a broad shouldered Vatican II Catholic.

    The apostiles were just as compassionate as they were tough.

    Stop listining to Rome ; Rules, Lies & no compassion.

    Cardinal Martini was correct ; use the beautiful sacrements to bring people

    In as The HERO POPE JOHN XXIII pleaded.

  5. “The apostiles were just as compassionate as they were tough.”

    I can just imagine what that tough fisherman Peter would have had to say to a “Vatican II Catholic” like Biden who has absolutely no problem with children being slain in the womb. No doubt it would have been short, pungent and perhaps accompanied with a right to the jaw.

    “Stop listining to Rome”

    Biden has followed that piece of advice.

  6. Tom McGraw,

    What have you been drinking?

    Joe Biden is a broad shouldered horse’s ass.

    The apostles were touched by the Holy Spirit and I don’t know if they would endorse hedonism, materialism, secular humanism, abortion, gay privileges, class hatred, etc.

    Stop listening to Alinsky, Lenin, Marx, Mao, Lies & no liberty.

    Cardinal Martini was not infallible; the holy sacraments are outward signs instituted by Christ to give grace not to make hate-filled, lying sinners feel warm and fuzzy about their evils.

    I saw The HERO POPE JOHN XXIII in 1979 in NYC. He would have shaken his fist at Biden and told him to reconcile himself with the Church and the Gospels.

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