PopeWatch: This Explains Liturgical Dance

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VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

From the only source of reliable Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood early Monday morning. This comes just days after reports that Griffin’s trainer, Jake Stately, admitted that he had not only injected Griffin before “numerous Masses,” but that he also had one of the syringes used on the 56-year-old dancer.

Griffin, who is best known for her treatise on liturgical dancing, The Art Of Body Worship, And So Can You, told Eye of the Tiber that the drug found in her system may have been the result of an over-the-counter weight loss medicine that she had recently started taking. Meanwhile, friends of Griffin have come to her defense saying that, though she had recently been under a grueling schedule, that the liturgical dancing phenomena would never resort to injecting. “The Lord has just blessed her body with such a rhythm…such an ability to properly express the proper flow of worship as to ever need any drugs,” a friend of Griffin said.

The USCCB Commission for Mass Doping, meanwhile, say that they will be suspending Griffin from participating in all Masses where dancing is involved until they have concluded their investigation. “For the time being, Ms. Griffin will only have access to the Tridentine Low Mass.”

When asked to comment, Pope Francis said,  It is a tragedy.  She must not have Arentinian blood, because all Argentinians dance beautifully, without the use of drugs.  Well, OK, maybe not Presidente Kirchner, but there is always an exception to every rule.

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7 Comments

  1. The USCCB commission for Mass Doping…

    Very funny stuff.

    The first and only time I witnessed a very scantly dressed woman with long lace banners flowing from her waving arms parading in front of the procession at the beginning of Holy Mass was at a parish that visited periodically. I did a triple take! Wasn’t sure if I was in the Catholic Church. Unreal.
    I should of guessed something was up when the electric guitar and drummer started to warm up the “audience,” with a banging rendition of “They will know we are Christians by our Love.” Rock on?

  2. Some African nuns come to our parish every few years and treat us to a short but rather sedate bit of drumming and footwork, with African lyrics, usually at the close of Mass. I think it means something spiritual but I haven’t grasped it yet.

  3. The ritual gestures of the Mass, in any of its Rites, is ‘liturgical dance’. This includes our genuflecting, kneeling, bowing, making the sign of the Cross, standing, sitting, processing [when we go into church before Mass, ‘procession’ to receive Holy Communion, when we leave Mass:responding to “Ite Missa est: Go, the Mass is ended”]

    In Africa, ‘dance’ is indeed a part of the Mass. The people elongate our ‘processions’ with long periods of ‘rhythmic movement’, but is really quite distinct and far more beautiful than the awful experiments at ‘liturgical dance’ seen in the West. This sort of thing is a secularizing travesty in the Liturgy and frankly has no future in the Roman Rite in either the Ordinary or Extraordinary Form

  4. Some of these travesties well signify the contempt and ridicule Our Lord suffered by His torturers on Calvary. In addition, some of our cantors and “musicians” seem to suffer from the delusion that God is deaf, judging by the volume of the musical activity; never mind the utter neglect of the beautiful Responsorial Psalms that are straight Scripture, and infinitely superior to the miserable and unintelligible pathetic substitutes and paraphrases conjured by these traveling bands. Could the angels of Bethlehem take over, please?

  5. On the other hand–I recall that when Pope Benedict visited Africa, there were long, long lines of people bopping up to receive communion. It did not strike me as impious or irreverent, and the Pope did not seem particularly scandalized.

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