PopeWatch: Satire and Reality

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Members at the Synod on the Family have entered into one of the most controversial subjects facing the Synod: how should the Church treat gay persons who divorce their same-sex partners and remarry without first obtaining permission from the Church.

Insiders at the Synod say that bishops were divided as to how to handle the “sticky” situation regarding homosexual couples that have divorced and remarried without first obtaining an annulment from the Church.

“The annulment process is quite laborious for those whose marriages the Church does not recognize,” said one Synod insider. “If one does not have an actual marriage, how then does he or she proceed with the annulment process so that they can once again receive communion? That is the crux of the matter.”

A spokesman for the Vatican told EOTT that a number of bishops had brought up completely doing away with what they considered  “the antiquated notion of sin,” and allowing all members and non-members of the Catholic Church to receive communion.

“The idea is being proposed because no one should be excluded from the grace given when one receives communion,” the spokesman went on to say. “Let me rephrase that; not no one, but rather, most everyone should not be excluded. Those who committee such vile sins such as smoking, littering, and being heterosexual would incur latae sententiae. Naturally.”

PopeWatch, as  a matter of public duty, now must note that the above is satire and humor.  These days it could all too taken as a real news story from the Synod.

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9 Comments

  1. If I hadn’t known this was an Eye of the Tiber piece, I would still have
    known this was satire when I read the list of sins that would still incur an
    excommunication latae sententiae. Everybody know it wouldn’t be
    smoking, littering and being heterosexual– it would be using air conditioning,
    doubting the settled science of man-made climate change, and preferring
    to receive Communion on the tongue while kneeling.

  2. Clinton: Well said.
    Being heterosexual or homosexual is not a sin. Like being of colored skin, being heterosexual or homosexual is an accident of creation, an act of God. Practicing sodomy is a free will rebellion against God, “the laws of nature and nature’s God.” from The Declaration of Independence, one of our Founding Principles. “He who lives in the Lord is above the law.” Atheists, agnostics and sodomites think and practice being above the law, but the law is “under the earth”. Yes, there is law and order in helll. That is why when you get to helll, it is equal Justice.
    One thing that annulments say is that some people are not marriage material, too much immaturity, too many deep seated problems and or depravity. If an annulment is granted, the individual ought to remain celibate. It is wisdom in the making.
    Sometimes God throws one a curve ball. There is always “Divine Providence” from The Declaration of Independence. If one does not approve of our Founding Principles, one is free to leave.

  3. That first sentence of the EOTT piece made my head sin a bit in the same way a story I was told just after Bill Clinton got elected president: a married couple from Arkansas arrived in Washington DC. Since they were both 14 they decided to consult with an attorney: would they still be brother and sister?

  4. “Being heterosexual or homosexual is not a sin”. TRUE.
    “Like being of colored skin, being heterosexual or homosexual is an accident of creation, an act of God.” FALSE. Heterosexuality is not an accident of birth, but it is part of God’s design. Homosexuality is not. To say homosexuality is an accident of creation is too simplistic. There many factors involved, physical and psycological. Each individual is different.
    “Practicing sodomy is a free will rebellion against God, “the laws of nature and nature’s God.” TRUE.

  5. “One thing that annulments say is that some people are not marriage material, too much immaturity, too many deep seated problems and or depravity. If an annulment is granted, the individual ought to remain celibate”. Disagree.
    If a person whose 1st marriage was annulled by the church and there is no impediment to preclude entering into a valid, sacramental marriage, why shouldn’t they remarry?

  6. Aw, golly, I thought this was gonna be one of those funny EOTT pieces. Now I see it’s an account of the real Synod!

  7. The issue with annulments is that they are often handed out like door prizes at a church fund-raiser.
    The fast-track new rules could accelerated that scandalous fact.
    The validity of a “no-marriage occurred” ruling is valid “only if” both parties didn’t knowingly lie during the process. it’s like confession, in that sense. Absolution depends upon sincerity and truth.

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