The Creed as Currently Understood

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Elliot Bougis at FideCogitActio has drafted a new Creed for the Age of Francis:

 

The Nicercene Creed

I [want to] believe in one God,
the Father [pretty much] almighty,
[evolutionary] maker of heaven and earth,
of [I guess] all things visible and invisible.

I [recognize that Christians prefer to] believe in one Lord Jesus Christ,
the [not necessarily] Only Begotten Son of God,
born [of the early Christian consciousness] of the Father before all ages.
God [or guru] from God, Light [or role model] from Light,
true God [among others] from true God,
begotten, not [entirely] made [up], [perhaps] consubstantial with the Father;
through him [or her] all things were made [unless you find that problematic].
For us men [and women and pets and rain forests] and for our salvation [or mere consideration]
he [claimed that he] came down from heaven,
and by [what we’ll generously agree to call] the Holy Spirit was incarnate [in Christian discourse] of the [putatively] Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was [allegedly] crucified under Pontius Pilate,
he suffered death [as befits any false Jewish prophet] and was buried,
and [according to Christians, at least,] rose again on the third day
in accordance with the [passages of the] Scriptures [that don’t offend Jews].
He [was memorialized as having] ascended into heaven
and is [best depicted in classical art as being] seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory [as the long-expected Jewish Messiah and in Muhammad’s train]
to [non-judgmentally] judge the living and the dead [who are already in Heaven if they were good at their own religion or even irreligion]
and his kingdom [among multiple other kingdoms] will [most likely] have no end.

[Oh, yeah, and] I believe in the Holy Spirit, the [Christian] Lord, the giver of life [and of circumcision],
who proceeds from [what Christians refer to as] the [“]Father[“] and the [“]Son[“],
who with [or perhaps without] the [“]Father[“] and the [“]Son[“] is adored and glorified [solely by Christians],
who has spoken [of a still-promised Jewish Messiah] through the [interreligiously sanitized] prophets.

I [am, I guess, willing to] believe in [at least] one, [generally] holy, catholic [but not Roman Catholic] and apostolic [but not anti-Judaic] Church.
I [don’t mind if others] confess one Baptism [or circumcision or lifetime of pagan piety] for the forgiveness of sins [if such there be]
and I look forward to the resurrection [or at least recollection] of the dead
and the life[style] of the [religiously pluralistic] world to come.
Amen[?]

 

 

Go here to read the rest.  Ah, to live in a pontificate  where satire has a difficult time keeping up with headlines!

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20 Comments

  1. Indeed.

    The Bear was thinking how much of Catholicism is up in the air after just a couple of years of Pope Francis. And not just minor stuff. So much that we had known, it seems, forever, is now a mystery. Is at least a passing acquaintance with Jesus Christ still necessary for salvation? Does anyone go to Hell? Are our personal sins taken care of by mercy or by confession, and, if the latter, what is all this business about mercy? Isn’t the sacrament of penance mercy? Is Jesus Christ actually there under the appearance of bread and wine, or is it just “a little bread and wine do no harm?” when a divorced and remarried Catholic wants to take communion. Are Lutherans welcome to receive communion? Anyone, so long as it’s okay in the inner forum of their conscience?

    Pope Francis hasn’t tinkered with doctrine like an ordinary humble reformer who realizes everyone else has always had everything wrong. Pope Francis drains the meaning from all doctrine and replaces it with whatever WWJD experience he is having the moment he steps in front of a microphone.

  2. Considering what the Bear wrote, I think Pope Francis is mentally diseased. This Creed up above is what liberals believe and liberalism is a mental disease and Pope Francis is a liberal.

  3. Some once told me that an orthodox person must believe in 10 of the 12 articles in the Apostles Creed.

    Now I think it is down to 8 or 9.

  4. One recalls Mgr Ronald Knox
    “When suave Politeness, temp’ring bigot Zeal,
    Corrected, ‘ I believe,’ to ‘One does feel.’”
    Not to mention,
    “Gifted as if with Tongues, were there but wit
    Among his Audience to interpret it…”

  5. The Bear is correct. And it would not be overstating it to say Pope Francis is the biggest Black Sheep in Church history or perhaps any history. Millions are being led astray.

  6. You know, seriously, it makes it harder to lead RCIA right now. Our job is to teach/ discuss what the Catholic Church teaches. Our thoughtful catechumens have lots of questions.

  7. For what is man if he does not have a creed to believe in. We all have them and some of us believe that the only true creed is that which is contained within the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. Thanks Be To God. A man without a creed is just a shell. Even “self” is a creed for the narcissists.

  8. It is this sort of thing that makes it impossible to satire a website calling itself “The American Catholic”.

  9. 🙂 Howard and Donald Those of us who struggle against writing non sequiturs know that it is only a non sequitur to the reader because we have failed to explain our mental sequitur!
    .
    Merry Christmas to all my friends at TAC. What a wonderful gathering place for thought provoking conversation. God bless us everyone.

  10. Donald R. McClarey: Get some real education before you try using Latin words. My response was to this statement: “Ah, to live in a pontificate where satire has a difficult time keeping up with headlines!” You are just some jackass with a blog; just one of millions of jackasses with blogs and all the wit of a fifth-grader. You claim to have a J.D., so it is no great surprise you are a jackass, but your claim to be Catholic is FAR more dubious. This little piece of crap you have written does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD. Are there problems in the Church? Yes. Did Pope Francis create these? Not the ones you’re complaining about. Just because you have access to a computer does not elevate your throne above that of the Pope; to put it in plain Anglo-Saxon, you are still the same little shit you were at age 10. All you are doing is making waves in the hope that others on the short bus will egg you on. They already have; your pride is appeased.

    I do not like to use language like this, but it is the only hope of penetrating the thick crust of pompous self-righteousness you have grown around yourself.

  11. over and over, small minds attack the Holy Father. they seem absolutely incapable of considering that it might be their own ignorance ore pride that prevents them from accepting the Holy Father’s guidance.

  12. “Accept the Holy Father’s guidance”??????
    .
    This Occupier of the Seat of St Peter:
    .
    Has displayed on St Peter’s Basilica a pagan animalistic light shown of blasphemous proportion
    .
    Has appointed every godless liberal pervert he can to the episcopacy.
    .
    Tried to get communion for adulterers sanctified at the recent Synod on the Family.
    .
    Issued an encyclical touting the false gospel of global warming and the advocacy of a socialist world structure.
    .
    Taken advice and direction from homosexual sodomite activists while demeaning, deriding and ridiculing orthodox traditionalists.
    .
    This Argentinian Peronist Marxist is to the Catholic Faith what that Occupier of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is to the United States of America. I have never been so disgusted, so ashamed, so infuriated in all my life. To see both my Church and my Country go down the tubes of godless freaking liberal progressivism is intolerable. I oppose it, and however weak and pitiful my feeble efforts may be, I will fight against it till I die. No to this Pope and no to this President.

  13. Howard, thank you for demonstrating the utility of banning trolls from this blog. Trolls are usually merely filled with ire and have nothing to contribute but spittle and insults. Once upon a time you made a few interesting comments on this blog. However, the personal antipathy you seem to possess for me, someone you have never met, has reduced you to trolldom. We will soldier on without you.

  14. uh, just for the record, the Bear can satirize anything, including this blog. “March 22 — Braxton Bragg’s Birthday…” The Bear could go on, but fears someone would take it seriously and become offended 😉

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