Our bruin friend at Saint Corbinian’s Bear looks at papal interaction with a “bear”:
According to this report from Eye of the Tiber, Pope Francis granted a private audience with the celebrity Bear from the motion picture, “The Revenant.” Many have written to the Bear asking for a statement.
First of all, this so-called “Bear” is fake. That’s right. According to Variety, the bear is CGI.
The Bear wishes to make it perfectly clear that he is not bothered by some fake bear being a celebrity, while the Bear labors in obscurity. At least he knows he’s the real thing. Does Pope Emeritus Benedict’s coat of arms have some anonymous, fake, CGI bear on them? No. They unmistakably have St. Corbinian’s Bear, complete with pack. So, now who’s famous, Mr. Fake CGI imaginary bear?
So what to make of the Pope’s pitiful propaganda effort to convince the world that he is on good terms with Bears? Clearly, the Bear has gotten under his skin. He knows the growing popularity of the Bear is a threat to his Jesuitical plots. So His Holiness is trying to neutralize the Bear.
Here is the truth. The only Bears that are behind the Pope are South American Spectacled Bears, and Polar Bears, who are working the global warming scam for all its worth by swimming out to tiny ice features and hoping somebody takes their picture.
My friends, long after this so-called “bear” has been buried in the graveyard of forgotten CGI animals, like that tiger from Life of Pi, or the 50 rampaging mammoths from 10,000 B.C., the Bear will still be writing his ephemeris, growing his audience, scrutinizing the Vatican like Bernardo Gui on methylphenidate. If a freelance Bear inquisitor high on speed doesn’t scare you, nothing will.
There’s only one place to find the real Bear. It’s right here, friends. Thank you for your continued support.
Go here to read the comments. Rest assured my bruin colleague, in the Catholic blogging world you are the one and only Bear Blogger!
Of course, CGI bears are fake! They don’t even s@&t in the woods! And what real bear doesn’t like to leave something soft and warm for nature loving hikers, especially those who left wing loons who perpetuate the global warming (I mean Climate Change) scam, to step in?
Nice picture, but it is of a mere black bear. The Bear is a magnificent brown bear, ursus arctos. But still, funny. Having seen the bear movie now, it is like if Luke Skywalker had been killed by Imperial Stormtroopers ten minutes in followed by three hours of watching Jawas scavenging junk. The famous bear fight was highly contrived and it was clear that the writers were determined to have Leonardo di Caprio survive for some reason. Bear did not get it at all, and snored through much of it after the main character was killed off. Not worth having to sit through trailers for Michael Moore’s new movie and some “let’s kill all the evil Confederates” feel good movie with Matthew McConaughey.