From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:
Despite efforts to figure whether they were in a Catholic or Protestant service, local parishioners were left baffled after an “animated” man wearing vestments put on a head mic and began pacing back and forth as he delivered his sermon.
“The man looked like a priest and I was quite certain I was in a Catholic Church,” said longtime parishioner Joyce Parlin who had no clue as to what the hell was going on. “But he kept pacing back and forth, ending each statement with a ‘can I get an amen?’ No one was exactly sure what he was asking for. I overheard one gentleman respond, ‘yes, I suppose,’ but the priest or pastor or whatever he was kept desperately asking if he could get more amens.”
Parlin went on to add that the priest or pastor or whatever the heck he was continually used words like “fellowship” and “ministry” during his sermon, words, Parlin admitted, she had never heard before.
“He also used the phrase ‘saved by the Blood of the Lamb,’ which I suppose is some sort of Christian take on the TV show ‘Saved by the Bell.’ Hell, I don’t know.”
At press time, the band has begun singing praise a worship as beach balls are being thrown to and fro, confirming that the event is a Life Teen Mass.
Go here to read the comments. PopeWatch was about to call the Vatican for comment when he received a call from the Pope. The Pope got quickly to the point.
I have heard you crazy gringos have masses that could pass for a protestant service. Is this true?
Regrettably yes, sometimes Holy Father.
Don’t you gringos know how to say the Mass properly?
I don’t think knowledge is the problem Holy Father.
I will tell you the problem! You gringos seem to love ugly churches, ugly liturgies and ugly music?
Since Vatican II, Holy Father, one might have that impression.
Are all of you gringos loco?
Not all Holy Father.
What’s the solution?
Put Cardinal Burke in charge of liturgies in this country.
Then PopeWatch woke up.