(Language advisory as to the above video.)
News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an unusual move, President Trump has now demanded a federal investigation into movie critics for the inexplicable 91% rating of Star Wars: The Last Jedi on Rotten Tomatoes.
The Last Jedi, an objectively awful film that ruined the character Luke Skywalker and has nearly killed the beloved Star Wars film franchise, somehow has a rating on the aggregation website Rotten Tomatoes claiming that over nine out of ten critics actually liked the movie and its casino planet and cocktail dress-wearing, purple-haired Admiral Holdo. It is unknown how such a hated movie claims to be loved by movie critics — people who should know better — but there are many theories, such as a conspiracy by a foreign power to destabilize America’s favorite science fiction property.
While most fans have moved on, hoping J.J. Abrams can somehow save his story after Rian Johnson stomped all over all the plot threads Abrams set up in The Force Awakens (and maybe also kill off Rose in the Episode IX opening crawl), Trump is not letting this go and wants the FBI to finally get to the bottom of the evil deception of movie critics claiming that The Last Jedi is good and that Leia flying through space like Mary Poppins was not ridiculous.
Go here to read the rest. It has been all downhill since the heights reached by Hardware Wars: