Its Official: I’m Not a Racist

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I was worried there for a while. The narrative that the professional race industry and its subsidiaries across the spectrum of the American Left puts forth about what constitutes racism in the United States changes so often that I’m not sure from one day to the next whether or not I am a racist. But the latest missive from an authority no lesser than the Congressional Black Caucus has clarified the issue for me, and I have never been more relieved.

If I think Obama is “cool” and use the word to describe him, I am a racist (had I used the word to describe him when Ebony magazine and CNN did, I would have been fine). Logically, therefore, if I don’t think Obama is cool, I am not a racist. I’ve never really thought Obama was cool. Most of the time he bores me to sleep. So you might say I was a racist when Ebony/CNN thought it was ok to say that Obama was cool, since I didn’t find him cool then. Now, though, my racism has been revoked.

Of course, I may be jumping the gun. Logic is not exactly high on the priority list of people who manipulate emotions with hysterical rhetoric for raw political power. At some point, expressing one’s opinion about Barack’s uncoolness may well be considered racist again, or even simultaneously with a belief in his coolness. Both could be racist, or  neither, in which case it might be racist not to have an opinion one way or the other. What will we do then?

We can always look to the emotional cues of our enlightened superiors in the political and media establishment. At a moment’s notice, we can, like the citizens of Oceania, change our opinion on the racist content or lack thereof in the notion that Obama is cool. We can hysterically denounce all those who hold the currently racist opinion one day, then rehabilitate ourselves when the non-racist opinion becomes the racist opinion the next.

What happens if we find ourselves far from a telescreen to tell us what to think and show us how to react to the latest meme? We find a way to believe that Obama is both cool and uncool at the same time. All we have to do is discover how to double-think, which is:

The power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them… To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just as long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies – all this is indispensably necessary. Even in using the word doublethink it is necessary to exercise doublethink. For by using the word one admits that one is tampering with reality; by a fresh act of doublethink one erases this knowledge; and so on indefinitely, with the lie always one leap ahead of the truth.

So there you have it. As diligent consumers of the mainstream American media, you should already have an advanced degree in the subject. Avoid the stigma of racism, which we have been psychologically programmed to fear more than the boubonic plague and nuclear annihilation, with vigilant double-think. If you don’t, you’re a racist.

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  1. Um… members of the party should never be in a situation where they are far enough away from the telescreen to be that uninformed.

    I would have thought that you would be aware of that.

  2. I despise, loathe and abhor Barack Hussein Obama not because of the color of his skin Heck, I love Congressman Allen West, again, not because of the color of his skin. I abhor Obama because he is an evil man who will not repent. I love West because he is unfraid to tell the politically incorrect truth in the public square.

    But by accident of birth my skin color is white, so by definition I suppose that makes me racist.

    Liberal. Progressive. Democrat. Three of the dirtiest words in the English language, even more so than the “N” word.

  3. The President is definitely cool in the sense Lincoln used the word in 1860:
    “In that supposed event, you say, you will destroy the Union; and then, you say, the great crime of having destroyed it will be upon us! That is cool. A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear and mutters through his teeth, ‘Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!’ ”

    “Vote for my economy-destroying programs or YOU will have destroyed the economy.”

  4. If I think Obama is “cool” and use the word to describe him, I am a racist (had I used the word to describe him when Ebony magazine and CNN did, I would have been fine). Logically, therefore, if I don’t think Obama is cool, I am not a racist. I’ve never really thought Obama was cool. Most of the time he bores me to sleep.

    Yep. I’m with Mark Steyn in that I don’t think he is or ever was a great orator. He speeches are more like those tempermental shower faucets that go from freezing to scalding with a mere twitch. One minute it’s “Audicity of Hope”; next minute we are all going to die. Blech.

  5. Here’s a reason I refuse to waste my eyesight or money on HBO, the NY Times, Newsweek, etc.

    Reportedly, HBO ran a scene in its (I assume) crappy series “Game of Thrones” depicting the decapitated head of President George W. Bush on a pike.

    Counterpoint: the lying liberal press “goes nuts” over every imaginary insult against the Won.

    If you don’t watch the news, you are uninformed. If you watch the news, you are misinformed.

  6. @Klansman Paul. Thanks for proving my point \. You racist slimeball. Yes you ARE a racist. Allen West is an Uncle Tom who insults African-Americans for not thinking like him!
    Barack Obama is not an “evil man.” I voted for him in 2008 and will do so again in 2012.
    On the night of Barack Obama’s presidential election victory, Americans seemed to shed our troubled legacy of racism. Or did we?

    Obama’s victory did offer at least one gift to conservatives. It gave them a new excuse to tell black Americans to stop complaining about white racism.

    people like Klansman Paul

  7. Questionman,

    Are you trying to outdo me in the humorous writing department?

    I’m also a little offended here. I went out of my way to mock Obama and the CBC. Why didn’t you hysterically accuse ME of racism!?

    I’ll have to try harder next time.

    Oh, by the way –

    If you’re black, stop complaining about white racism. We have a black president.

    If you’re white, which my money says you are, what’s the word for white people who insult white people who don’t think like them?

    Uncle Hitler?

  8. Questions Questionman. Would Thomas Sowell be a Klansman in your view since he opposes Obama, or be an Uncle Tom since he has the termerity to oppose Obama while being a black man, or can he be both? Do the criticisms he raises about Obama’s policies not have to be considered since by definition any criticism of Obama is racist? How persuasive do you think a majority of Americans will find the idea that Obama has an immunity to criticism due to the color of his skin? Does your Mom allow you free use of the internet in her basement, or do you have to use the computer at the library because she limits you to certain hours? Perhaps you work at the library and were browsing the net while you should have been working?

  9. It seems as if questionbumbler is a liberal.

    How is Col. West an Uncle Tom? Because he doesn’t think like the worst POTUS in history?

    One thing for sure Col. West wasn’t educated and raised by Indonesian muslims and white, commie hippies.


    Why do you blacks and liberals hate whites?

  10. What’s your beef with Oceania?
    Do you understand Oceania as I do?
    Or are you using “Oceania” as Thomas More used “Utopia?” 😉

  11. “”

    Oceania is the name of one of the three super-states in Orwell’s “1984” and is the setting of the novel.

  12. Growing up in the US I was always annoyed with the notion that I owed black people more regard than white people because there were black people enslaved two hundred years ago in the south. First off most black people I knew did not assert this and second the idea that because of something somebody did before I was born I should be punished seems unjust and I am pretty sure that other than my my Dad, my Mom, and for a short while just as a long trip my Uncle have been the only ancesters I know of who lived in America. Unless you include Brasil when talking about America than my Grandma and her parents might be included other than that no one else.

  13. The problem with the way people like questionman is they act like the way you act or what you believe changes your genetic makeup. the reasoning people like that have goes like this: If a black man wheres a clean cut suit, thinks baggy pants are stupid, and thinks Marijuana is a deadening drug than he is obviously white because black people in the hip hop business are otherwise.

  14. Oh my, what are all the former college students who voted for Obama going to do about this? They BANKED on the idea that they were voting for the “cool” candidate and not the old, non-exotic white guy! All these poor twenty-somethings are now… uncool?!

    Oh well, they’re probably too busy with Koby 2012 or whatever the latest Internet cause is at the moment to think about it.

    I can see where the CBC is coming from, though. Positive stereotypes (the cool black guy, the magic negro, the wise old Asian) can be damaging. However, Obama’s campaign didn’t seem to notice the “cool black guy” vibe they were giving off – or if they did, they milked the heck out of it.

  15. Kristin I specifically remember lot’s of people being vicious towards this one boy from Georgia who had a McCain shirt on but as you said the Obama campaign did not take much notice of people going insane over the fact that he was a black candidate (he is mulatto by the way not black or white).

  16. Yeah, I’ve always wondered why Obama identifies as black instead of mixed race or white since he never really knew his black father. I guess he looks more black than white, so growing up, people labelled him as black. I’m not asking this to criticize him; I’m genuinely curious about how people of mixed race identify themselves.

  17. Ah – George Orwell.

    Its many years since I read 1984, and being so vague in my (rapidly deteriorating 😉 ) memory, didn’t even register.
    Of course, where I am, NZ, Oz, and the Pacific islands make up the current Oceania. 🙂

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