Dear Future Mom

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Hattip to Pat Archbold at Creative Minority Report. A very well meaning person once told my wife and I that she understood what a cross we had to bear due to the autism of our son Larry.  I responded by stating the simple truth:   that Larry had never been anything but a blessing from God for us.  So he was, from his first day to his last, and continues to be as he went ahead of us to the next world.  In this Vale of Tears many terrible things can happen to us, but the birth of a child, no matter what, is never among them.

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  1. Couldn’t have said it better myself. My own daughter, now 18, is autistic as well, and while there are certainly many difficulties there are also some difficulties that parents of “normal” children have which we have been spared. Just one example, she couldn’t care less about the toxic swamp of youth/popular culture and is content with far fewer material possessions than I suspect most young people her age would be.

  2. A deeper love, a perfected love is revealed to the parents and society when embracing a child of God such as yours Donald and Elaine.
    God bless parents like you.

  3. My father passed away last night. Life is beautiful, it’s temporary, and it’s followed by something better. Praise to the Author of Life!

  4. Pinky.
    I’m sorry for your loss.
    It’s been just over 4 months since my father passed on.
    May your dad share in the company of the Holy ones forever.

  5. Pinky, prayers for the repose of the soul of your father. I will try to remember to pray for him tomorrow at Mass.

    We recently found out that my wife is pregnant. I am 50. She will be 45 next month, so this is already considered a high risk pregnancy. We will accept what God gives us.

  6. Thanks. As Don can tell you, it may be true that none of us are worthy of Heaven, but there sure are some good people up there. Penguin, congratulations. Yeah, nervous about it I’m sure, but congratulations.

  7. Don and Penguin’s Fan: ““We will accept what God gives us.”
    Prayers on the way PF for a good result! That phrase has been a saving grace for me during last year.”
    Make me as holy as I am to be holy.
    Victor R. Claveau, MI: “God never makes mistakes. Children such as these are God’s gift to us, and how we welcome and care for them is our gift back to God.”
    Thank you.

  8. Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts and kind words. I am in need of them and I am grateful.

    I knew some of this before getting married or even before I met my wife – that children belong to their parents – in one sense – for as long as the live, but in a larger sense, for only a little while. It is an awesome task to meet the everyday responsibilities of caring for young children and to work to prepare them for the world that awaits them when they reach adulthood. I had some sense of this as my three brothers are younger than I am and, not being a completely average kid, saw and realized what goes on. My wife was an only child. She had no brothers and no cousins her age. It is a greater challenge for her to deal with a two year old boy that is high strung and a kindergartener. She thought she would homeschool and then found out that she does not have the temperament for it.

    The local parish has a Catholic school. I became unhappy with the way Mass is celebrated there and I have the nagging suspicion that this school is no better than the Catholic school I went to in the 1970s.

    One thing I have developed is a greater sense of understanding and sympathy when people take their young children out in public – be it a dinner (usually at a family restaurant), at Mass, shopping for groceries, traveling, you name it.

    One develops a special kind of anger at crooked politicians, inept clergy, mindless bureaucrats, selfish people and foolish businesses who embrace silly current fads that will have a long lasting and damaging effect on the world that today’s children will inherit.

  9. Dear Future Mom was beautiful and heart warming. There is so much ignorance about these exceptional children. I hope it was and will be broadcast on network TV as a public service announcement.

  10. First of all, to Pinky: my sincerest thoughts and prayers with you and your family on the occasion of the loss of your father. Requiem aeternam, dona eis, Domine; et lux perpetua luceat eis.

    Secondly, to Donald, thank you for describing the gift of Larry, your son. Every situation is different: I learn of more and more people every day it seems that have a “special-needs” family member in their lives. We are the fortunate ones.

    My autistic brother, of whose care and custody I have, now that our own father has passed, is a daily occasion, yes, DEFINITELY sometimes of frustration and annoyance, but predominately, of happiness, liveliness, and unbelievably zany humor that only, we the fortunate ones, can know about.
    So, I thought, here are 8 things that are the unique gifts of having an autistic child/sibling/family member in your life:
    8) Strange little humming noises can be very pleasing and satisfying.
    7) Harley Davidsons are the most exquisitely Awesome Machines on land. MUST STOP AND WATCH.
    6) Forget Frank Lloyd Wright and Mary Jane Coulter: Some telephone poles are true works of art.
    5) The pipe organ is the most exquisite instrument of music—and esp, the music of JS Bach, Julius Reubke, Maurice Durufle, and Jehan Alain make it talk!
    4) Boeing makes the most Awesome Vehicles that Fly: MUST STOP AND WATCH.
    3) Certain people’s voices, either speaking but especially singing, are Very Annoying.* (*and watch out for them, I have learned he is telling me…)
    2) Nirvanic Rocking can be very soothing to anyone, especially after a very stressful
    day: try it, while you think about what to do next.
    1) And finally: Blessed are the pure of heart, for of such is the Kingdom of God.

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