From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:
Officials from both sides held a press conference earlier this morning, telling reporters that they were meeting in regards to ISIS plans to throw homosexuals off the Leaning Tower of “Pizza.” Members of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria admitted to reporters after hours negotiations over cheese pizza at the Italian restaurant Chuck E. Formaggio, that the homosexuals were actually a pretty fun crowd to be around.
“We came to the summit to strike fear in their hearts,” one ISIS member told the press. “We were really looking forward to throwing them off the ‘Tower of Pizza,’ but once they started talking, it was like, we still disagree with their lifestyle choices, but they’re really sweet. A couple of the homosexuals were telling us about how to make the perfect quiche and how to drape ISIS flags around our shoulders without wrinkling them, and we all kinda just looked at each other. We knew right then that no one was getting thrown off the Tower.”
When asked to comment, Pope Francis remarked, “ISIS is an important issue and we should deal with it after we solve the two most pressing problems in the world: youth unemployment and lonely geezers.”