Bear Growls: Dear Reinhard

Dear Reinhard

As I have often said of some of my offspring, my bruin friend at Saint Corbinian’s Bear is “scary smart” and this piece of all too true satire will leave a mark on Reinhard Cardinal Marx:

 

 

Dear Reinhard: Is Sex With a Prostitute Adultery?

Once again, we look over the shoulder of Germany’s favorite advice columnist, Reinhard Marx, as he opens up his mailbag…

Dear Reinhard,

My wife and I have been married for eighteen years and have a six year old daughter. I love my wife, but for three years I have been seeing a sex worker in a Munich brothel, Magdalena. She is the only working girl I ever visit, and I  have fallen in love with her. Although I realize this may be less than ideal, I love both my wife and Magdalena.

I hear some people saying that this may be “adultery,” and, further, that it could be a mortal sin and maybe I shouldn’t take communion! I am a good Catholic and want to do the right thing. Surely God recognizes the stable and loving relationship I enjoy alongside my marriage? What should I do?

Signed,
Muddled in Munich

Reinhard replies…

Dear Muddled:

Don’t be so hard on yourself. As the editors of the traditions gathered together under the name “Jeremiah” wrote: “The heart is perverse above all things, and unsearchable, who can know it?” Pascal, though only a Frenchman, expressed a similar sentiment when he said, “The heart has its reasons that reason knows not.” What these authors, separated by centuries, agree upon is this: you cannot control whom you love.

The important thing is that we find a way for you to feel welcome in the Church in your clandestine extramarital relationship with Magdalena. Is it right to call a committed, though unorthodox, loving relationship adultery? I think not. So enjoy the blessings of love (and love!) and do not let small-hearted naysayers keep you from communion!

I am sending you an autographed copy of Pope Francis’ friend and collaborator Archbishop Victor Manuel Fernandez’s “Heal Me With Your Mouth: the Art of Kissing.” (Sounds like you could use it!)

God bless you!
Reinhard

Go here to read the hilarious comments  I have never done this before, but I am declaring this the post of the week!  Take ‘er away Sam!


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18 Comments

  1. Cupich disgraces his office and is an insult to any conception of morality.”

    Yes, but the larger question is why he was appointed since we knew previously of his modernist moral stances?

  2. Of course God recognizes Muddled’s relationship.

    He’s seen this all before.

    As what, well, we can be sure Muddled really doesn’t want to know.

  3. Perhaps this relationship is not adultery but it most certainly is betrayal, a violation of one’s vows in the Sacrament of Matrimony. The individual becomes a liar, and an unfaithful spouse. Approaching Jesus, he might be struck dead.

  4. “Indeed, tax collectors ad prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you”.

    A line bishops especially should remember.

  5. The Bear is gratified you enjoyed “Dear Reinhard.” You may be happy to know that “Dear Reinhard” is a series, so you can look forward to more sage advice from Germany’s favorite sob sister, His Eminence Reinhard Marx.

  6. The $64,000 question is how did +Cupich and +Marx become ordained clergy to begin with?

    The Catholic Church in Germany is in freefall. The Roman Pontiff has surrounded himself with people who would have been accused of heresy in the 1950s. PP butchers babies and a so-called Catholic US Supreme Court judge deems gay marriage a right and the USCCB is as silent as a portable analog TV in the closet of your grandmother’s house.

    I can offer no other explanation than we are in a period of chastisement.

  7. Cupich’s sickening remarks qualify him now to be an active participant in the synod. You can see the storm clouds forming.

    Penguins Fan—the USCCB peace and justice group is a secular socialist propaganda arm of the democratic party. I use to check in occasionally on their legislative lobbying but now find it to be a near occasion of sin for me. Face it, the USCCB is home to many bishops who are democrats and socialists first, shepherds sometimes but never in adversity to their cherished partisan ideology. It’s ostentasiously located in DC and staffed with nothing but leftist advocates. I’d like to know its funding sources in addition to federal money. How do we pay for this from the pews?

  8. Don–Thanks for syndicating The Bear at his most whimsical and hope you will continue to keep us current on his future ‘Dear Reinhard’ musings.

  9. Cupich saddens me too. A theology perhaps better fitting to a dorm room discussion than building upon the Deposit of Faith.

    Nonetheless, every time I see this sort of thinking on display, I will say a prayer for the soul of his predecessor, Cardinal George. At least, I can accomplish something beyond merely getting angry. Whatever else you do, please do likewise for the soul of this wise and holy man. I do miss him here in Chicago.

  10. “At least, I can accomplish something beyond merely getting angry. Whatever else you do, please do likewise for the soul of this wise and holy man. I do miss him here in Chicago.”

    Anger is okay – a just anger. We are ensouled bodies so we do have emotions. Anger can be unjust if filled with hatred or just when it addresses an injustice in charity. Cupich’s comments are unjust so we are right to be angry with them. Pray for his predecessor and pray for Cupich. But remain justly angry and speak out also.

  11. To Phillip. – no disagreement. That is why I said “beyond…angry” rather than “instead of…angry”.

    Personally, I often fall short when I let my anger distort me, so on a “human” level my prayer for them helped me as well. I realized I needed to do this today at Mass, so I am assuming this was perhaps some “guidance” to help me (as well as hopefully Cardinal George!)

    Many thanks for your thoughts, Phillip.

  12. If the adulterer loves them both then we must be merciful because #lovewins and who are we to judge?
    Saw the remarks about Cupich so checked out what he said. Astounding that an Archbishop would use relativism to soften the blow against those bloodthirsty demons at PP. The illogic of his thinking is his only clear point. You other commenters may know that yours truly is a lonely opponent of capital punishment here but it has not a thing to do with murdering innocent children in the womb. We are in chastisement thanks to goofy Pope Francis and his parade of clowns. (They got rid of Fr. Barron, didn’t they; did you see how soft Fr. Barron went right before his appointment?)

  13. Dear Cthemfly25-Don’t know if you noticed, but AB Bern. Cupich has been appointed as a voting member to the Synod this Fall. Remember FDR S Ct court packing attempt? As to what will happen this Fall, note analogy with Dem President doing things by Exec Order rather than legislation accd to the rules, check out my SYNODS ARE NOT COUNCILS at Catholic Lane site and you will see what is being put out: Synods ARE Councils, “Synod of Vatican II” commanded respect and assent of all the faithful, and “synod” and “council” are “interchangeable.” Get ready for Bergoglio to “accept” the synod report, which is the voice “of all the bishops of the world;” and then proclaim infallibly: 1. Jesus got it wrong re adulterous marriages; 2. we now, enlightened by those who have protected pederasts and pedophiles, welcome into the church adulterers who have some of the “fullness” of marriage; and 3. welcome those engaging in anal sex regularly as also having part of the “fullness” of a loving marriage. Remember Al Jolson’s THE JAZZ SINGER? Folks, you aint heard nuthin’ yet. Guy McClung, San Antonio, Texas

  14. Thanks Guy for your post. I was aware of Cupich’s selection for the synod, and I had already read your fine article about synods vs councils.

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