Bear Growls: What Can a Few Refugees Hurt?



Our bruin friend at Saint Corbinian’s Bear has unearthed an obscure historical document:

Scene: Canaanite Hebrew Refugee Welcoming Commission Headquarters.
Dramatis Personae: Bazar, a minor functionary; Tukal-Baal, vice chairman.

Bazar — Vice Chairmen Tukal-Baal, there’s something I feel I should bring to your attention.

Tukal-Baal — Will it take long? We have hundreds of thousands of Hebrew refugees on the way. Did you hear that they crossed the Red Sea? Probably thousands lost on over-crowded papyrus rafts. That kind of determination to seek a better life moves me to tears.

Bazar — But there’s a problem, sir.

Tukal-Baal — Problem? What kind of problem?

Bazar — A copy of their holy books fell into our hands. It’s not good.

Tukal-Baal — Not good? Their god will fit in with ours, I’m sure. It’s good that we have their holy books. It will help with our interfaith efforts.

Bazar — Sir, their holy books say they intend to wipe us out, man, woman, child, and livestock. Even our pets.

Tukal-Baal — Wipe us out? That’s ridiculous. I’m sure you’re misreading it. Perhaps there is a symbolic interpretation. They’re refugees for Baal’s sake. All they want is a better life. We owe them that!

Bazar — Listen to this, right from their holy books: When the Lord your God brings you into the land which you are entering to take possession of it, and clears away many nations before you — I’ll skip the list of our neighbors, but include “the Canaanites” — and when the Lord your God gives them over to you, and you defeat them; then you must utterly destroy them; you shall make no covenant with them, and show no mercy to them.” That’s what it says. And may I respectfully again invite your attention to the mention of “Canaanites?” And look, sir. “Utterly destroy them,” right here, and “show no mercy to them,” there. That’s why I said it’s not good. I mean, you can read it right there in their holy books!

Tukal-Baal — And you think a bunch of four-year-old refugees looking for a better life are going to pay any attention to that? Seriously? Our civilization is destined for immortality! They’ll just be assimilated like everyone else.

Bazar — These are the same determined people who broke free of Egyptian slavery, crossed the Red Sea, and spent forty years in the desert, sir. And I’m not so sure they used papyrus boats to get across the Red Sea. It is suspected they used nuclear weapons in the devastating attacks on Sodom and Gomorra centuries ago. These people don’t fool around.

Tukal-Baal — You really believe they’re going to bother chasing down Buster after they’ve slaughtered me and my whole family?

Bazar — They take orders from a reclusive cleric named Moses. Moses has a military lieutenant named Joshua. We know their spies have scouted out our defenses. At best this has terrorism written all over it, if not outright conquest. They are as numerous as the sand of the sea.

Tukal-Baal — That many? Well, all the more reason to stop this nonsense and redouble our welcome efforts! Next you’ll be saying they’ll stamp out Baal worship and impose their god over everyone! [Laughs.] Maybe build a temple in Jerusalem! And why not a king, as well? [Laughs uproariously.] You can’t take these things seriously, Bazar. They’re just pitiful refugees. Put those Hebrew holy books away and attend to your regular duties.

Bazar — Yes, sir. I’m sure you’re right.

Go here to read the rest.  Hint:  when dealing with refugees it might be a good idea to stay away from those with a well established hatred for our civilization.  Establishing within our borders a hostile minority is a recipe for perpetual internal war.


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  1. I have not heard a peep from the USCCB over the past twelve years or more about the Iraqi, Syrian, Lebanese and Palestinian Catholic populations.

    My place of work did a volunteer day at a Catholic Charities establishment in my city. They provided free lunches to poor people and numerous supplies to families resettling in the US. Per federal regulations, they are NOT permitted to even mention that they are Catholic to any of these people they want to help. This is what the office director told us.

    The USCCB’s Catholic Charities is a big business for them. Certainly they do good work for many poor people…but is that what they are SUPPOSED to be doing – first and foremost?
    They say they want to follow the Gospel but they skip the parts about sin.

  2. Fritigern’s Goths were just refugees fleeing a brutal, terroristic regime, hoping to make a better life for themselves on the South side of the Danube.
    Remind me again, how’d that work out for the Emperor Valens?

  3. “USCCB: Catholic bishops, charities call for conscience protection in assisting refugees fleeing violence and persecution:

    Uh… Doesn’t Catholic Charities get most of their funding from tax dollars??? If they truly want to claim religious freedom exemptions, it would be a good idea to not rely on tax monies to operate.

  4. Let hear from Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr on this:

    “The more things change, the more they stay the same,” . On the proposal to abolish capital punishment, “let the gentlemen who do the murders take the first step”.

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