“Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil. They give us, now and then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions that have a certain charm for the weak…. They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” Oscar Wilde, “The Picture of Dorian Grey”
It’s that time of year for starting afresh, making a list of how we want to be different. Generally, I’m with Lord Henry, Dorian Grey’s patron (header quote), but this year I have resolved to suffer fools gladly and to pray for my enemies. Now, there are all sorts of prayers that you could make for people whom you think are bad, but I have in mind prayers for their good, stuff that will “Make the punishment fit the crime,” as the Mikado would have it.
I recall Fr. Bernard Groeschel’s prayer for Madonna, that she mend her ways and enter a cloistered nunnery. That’s the sort of thing I have in mind.
So, here’s the list–not in order of importance, but as they have occured to me:
- For commenters who shout by use of all uppercase–that their keyboard “caps lock” and “shift” keys never work (and, incidentally, that they take anger management programs until they too learn to love their enemies).
- For Fr. Antonio Spadaro, S.J., who tweeted (what an awful way to communicate purported truths!) “Theology is not #Mathematics. 2 + 2 in #Theology can make 5″, a six month course in basic arithmetic and a year course in elementary logic, to be passed with a grade of at least B+ (89%), or to be repeated.
- For all Catholic Hierarchy (you know who this will include) who maintain that humans significantly affect climate (as in anthropic global warming), a required stay from November 1 to March 1 (no trips out) in International Falls, MN . Each will be given four sets of thermal underwear and a parka. Residences will be in log cabins heated by wood stoves. (Wood will be supplied.)
- For Mark Shea–whatever Don McCleary would have.
There’s more, but that will do for now… And perhaps you, dear reader, can add some of your own.
And a blessed and happy 2018 to you all.
PS–I have some other New Year’s resolutions, but you don’t need to know what these might be.