Friday, March 29, AD 2024 7:57am

PopeWatch: Cats

News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

 

VATICAN CITY—In a sweeping statement Tuesday, Pope Francis announced his belief that all cats across the world are Christians. Although pundits frequently acknowledge the Pope’s progressive policies, Catholic scholars are calling this a “truly unprecedented” move.

 

“A Pope hasn’t made a declaration like this since Pope Alexander VI issued a Papal Bull against Llamas in 1493,” noted one high-ranking official at the Vatican, who chose to remain anonymous. “One thing is certain: this will change the conversation on whether an individual can truly ‘own’ a cat.”

Several years ago, scholars universally acknowledged that all dogs go to heaven. It is unclear whether or not today’s announcement jeopardizes this previous belief. When asked about any possible conflict, the Vatican’s media specialist responded: “That was a predominantly Protestant perspective. I think it originated with Karl Barkh’s Dog-matic theology.”

 

Go here to read the rest.  PopeWatch would say something pungent, but Cats purportedly have long memories:

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
4 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Art Deco
Art Deco
Saturday, April 28, AD 2018 5:29am

Some of these posts, I cannot tell if they’re for real or not.

Mary De Voe
Saturday, April 28, AD 2018 5:59am

“Several years ago, scholars universally acknowledged that all dogs go to heaven.” Devoid of a rational soul, let us just say that all dogs have the opportunity to go to heaven.

Don L
Don L
Saturday, April 28, AD 2018 11:10am

If cats can now go to heaven, I shall seek to “accompany” them, pastorally speaking, of course.

Philip Nachazel
Philip Nachazel
Sunday, April 29, AD 2018 12:59pm

A property court battle (convent ) between Ms. Perry and 89 year old Catherine Rose Holzman ended in the religious’ death in the courtroom just over a month ago. I’m not too shocked to see two cats shaking hands, but it is very likely that the cat in white knew nothing of the dispute, or death of a nun trying to hold on to the convent. His holiness is aware however how rigid orthodox Catholics can be. Priorities… right?

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/04/29/katy-perry-and-orlando-bloom-meet-pope-step-out-together-in-rome.html

Discover more from The American Catholic

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading

Scroll to Top