The Kavanator

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News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:


WASHINGTON, D.C.—The death toll from Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s first week on the Supreme Court has just topped 330 million, a report from the CDC indicated Friday.

As soon as the man was sworn in, millions perished instantly, and the deaths continued to ramp up throughout the week.

“Women are particularly affected,” said a CDC official. “We advise you to hide in your homes because there is no telling whom Kavanaugh is going to kill next, nor is there a cure. God help us all.”

On Monday morning, Kavanaugh strolled into the Supreme Court building through a line of protesters dressed as characters from The Handmaid’s Tale. He glanced in their direction and instantly burned them all to a crisp.


Go here to read the rest.  From a Leftist website sounding the tocsin about the Kavanator:

You still don’t get it, do you? He’ll find you! That’s what he does! That’s ALL he does! You can’t stop him! He’ll wade through your briefs, reach down for his pen and rip the living heart out of your cases!  We are so doomed!


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  1. “…hide in your homes…”
    Please do! And don’t post on social media.

    And you might as well take off those silly pink hats while you’re at it.

  2. The color of silly hats should be bright blood red if they want to truly reflect what they are standing for. Bloody fools.

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