King Henry II: But before we quarrel, here is some happy news. I have decided to revive the office of Chancellor of England, keeper of the Lion's Seal, and entrust it to our loyal servant Thomas Becket. Yes, my little Saxon? Thomas Becket: My Lord? Henry II: Well, for once I've taken you by surprise. Thomas Becket: My Lord, this is a stupendous honor, for which I may not be worthy. I'm inexperienced in these matters and frivolous by nature. Henry II: Rubbish. You know more than all of us put together. He's read books, you know. It's amazing. He's drunk and wenched his way through London, but he's thinking all the time, aren't you, Thomas? He'll checkmate the lot of you. Even you, Archbishop. I never did anything without your advice. No one knew it. Now everyone will. That's all. There. That's the Great Seal of England. Don't lose it. Without the Seal, there's no more England, and we'll all have to pack up and go back to Normandy. Screenplay Becket
American fiction can never be as funny as English reality.