News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
ALBANY, NY—As the New York State Senate voted to legalize abortion until the moment of birth, remove legal protections for late-term unborn babies, and allow anyone with a pulse to perform abortion procedures, witnesses claim a demon lord was clearly visible in the gallery cheering on the decision.
“This dude in a dark cloak appeared in a flash of fire and started cackling and stuff,” said one woman who also applauded the decision. “We thought maybe we should call security, but then we saw he was cheering right along with us, so we decided that he can’t be all that bad.”
The demon lord solemnly applauded as legislators passed the historic legislation, in which a human being can be murdered even though he or she has fully formed organs and can feel pain.
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And from the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:
Conceding that, though the Catholic Church would no longer tolerate blasphemous and heretical decisions made by Catholic politicians, both Cardinal Timothy Dolan and Pope Francis confirmed Thursday that they couldn’t, for the life of them, find a single reason to excommunicate Governor Andrew Cuomo a day after he signed a bill that allows abortions up to the final day of pregnancy.
“Oh, it’s not for a lack of trying,” Dolan told EOTT this morning. “But he’s a sneaky little guy. If he does ever use his public office to do something completely contrary to faith and morals, he doesn’t do it out in the open. He’s like a mob boss. You know he’s up to something, but you just can’t seem to catch him in the act. Trust me, we’ve searched high and low for reasons to excommunicate this guy, but he’s always been one step ahead of us.”
“That tricky little rat,” Pope Francis said as he frantically searched through New York magazines and websites in hopes of finding even the smallest trace of blasphemy. “Sheesh, he’s good! Can’t find a darn thing on this guy. I don’t know—perhaps the best thing to do is to hang tight and be patient. A guy like this, he’s bound to slip and commit an abomination. That’s when we’ll get him.”
Go here to comment. PopeWatch called the Vatican for comment, but was advised that the Pope was intending to comment about the New York legislation and the possible excommunication of Governor Cuomo on February 29, 2019.