Today is National Pizza Day. Time to recall the Ten Pizza Commandments:
I am thy Pepperoni, which hath brought thee out of the land of hunger, out of the house of fasting. Thou shalt have no other toppings before me.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any pizza with anchovies on it, for such is an abomination.
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to New York style Pizza, but only Chicago style deep dish shalt thou consume.
Thou shalt not take the name of pizza and apply it to anything calling itself California style, for such is an abomination.
Remember the sabbath day, to go out for pizza.
Honor thy father and thy mother, and treat them to pizza.
Thou shalt not kill a pizza by putting asparagus on it, for such is an abomination.
Thou shalt not commit adultery while eating pizza, for such is a double sacrilege.
Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor’s pizza, unless he is ordering Papa Del’s pizza, in which case it is understandable.
Thou shalt not bear false witness by claiming that pizza must not be eaten with a fork, for such are the lies and folly of New York City, that den of wickedness and lousy pizza.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s pizza, unless it is deep dish and made in the state of Illinois.