Correspondence From Beyond?

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We receive some strange pieces of correspondence at The American Catholic, most of which I quickly consign to paper perdition.  However, I thought the readers of TAC might be interested in this.

 

Donald R. McClarey, esquire

The American Catholic

 

Dear Sir,

It has been over two centuries since I last made my views on various issues known to the public, but I have maintained a keen interest in the passing events of the day.  I have submitted pieces to various journals of opinion, but for some reason none of them have seen print.  Although not a member of your religious denomination, at least when I was alive, I have always had a keen respect for Catholics and in 1787 defended their right to exercise the franchise in my native New York.  I do not share all the political sentiments set forth in your publication, but I do agree with the patriotism that seems to animate many of the articles which have appeared in The American Catholic.  Would you be willing to publish occasional pieces by me, say no more than one a month?  If so, please publish this letter.  If not, I do apologize for this intrusion.

 

Your obedient servant,

A. Hamilton

 

I have modernized the spelling of the letter and I would note that the signature on the letter bears a strong resemblance to that of Founding Father Alexander Hamilton.  If it is a hoax, as it must surely be, it is a fun one.  So Mr. Hamilton, retaining of course editorial control and the final decision to publish anything submitted, I agree to what you suggest.

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10 Comments

  1. It isn’t parchment but the paper does seem unusually heavy. It reminds me of blotting paper. I have tried to turn it into a PDF, but the ink, assuming it is ink, is quite faint and my copier, a fairly sophisticated model, is unable to produce a legible scan, especially since the paper itself is dark and the ink, once again if it ink, is brownish or a very dark red in color. The envelope has no return address, although it is post marked New York City.

  2. Strategic audience targeting with a most appropriate nom de plume is a most clever way to get noticed and have your pieces published. The guy’s a marketing genius and gets two thumbs up.

  3. Civil War General Sherman had thoughts on receiving correspondence from the Beyond. The same applies to today’s media.

    “If I had my choice I would kill every reporter in the world, but I am sure we would be getting reports from Hell before breakfast.”

    Plus, the real Hamilton was not the “Hamilton” of the post-modern Broadway play.

  4. I have had some cases where I was working with faint receipt printouts or a document with a yellowed or gray background that I was able to clean up by scanning to an image file and then doing a clean up in a graphics package. Paint.net is a free graphics package that I have used for doing this. Brightness and contrast adjustments can improve black and white source material. Sometimes converting color to grayscale or black and white and then manipulating the resulting image in a graphics package can give good results. YMMV.

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