Eating Their Own

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News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

 

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is busy celebrating her victory over the tyrannical Jeff Bezos and the horrible burden his company Amazon had planned to inflict on the people of New York City: 25,000 jobs.

“I thought it was a good thing that Amazon was coming to New York and wanted to give us money,” Ocasio-Cortez told the press. “But then I found out they were going to extort people and only give them the money if they worked for it. Forcing people to work if they want to get paid — how is that any different from slavery?”

A number of people tried to explain to her how that was different from slavery, but she just stared at them with incomprehension. “No one needs to work,” Ocasio-Cortez continued. “We just need to tax the rich enough and we’ll have enough money for everyone, and no one will need one of those awful jobs that are just as bad as slavery and almost as bad as transphobia. We could also maybe print some money. I have a printer at home.”

Not everyone was as happy about the loss of 25,000 new jobs. “You fool! What have you done?!” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo shouted at Ocasio-Cortez as he ran into her press conference.

“I made us 3 billion dollars!” Ocasio-Cortez explained. “We were going to give Amazon 3 billion dollars in tax breaks, but now we have that money for other things since I chased them away.”

“That’s not how it works!” Cuomo yelled, now openly weeping.

 

Go here to read the rest.  When battling Leftists, it is always good to recall a basic law of politics:  Leftists always, eventually, eat their own.  Lie down with dogs, eventually be consumed by the fleas.

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16 Comments

  1. I said it before and I shall say it again…people actually voted for this little girl. Her parents must be proud of her and spending all that money to send her to college.

  2. Her in-kind campaign contributions to Trump 2020! may be violations of federal campaign finance laws.

    She has another national accomplishment. Blondes are now making AOC jokes. “How dumb is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez?”

    She has lost Cher, too. “Are 25 Thousand New Jobs (Plus Thousands of Ancillary Jobs) Not a Good Idea For The Ppl Of NY?!”

  3. The trendy clubs have conceived a new libation in honor of AOC. It’s simply called a Cortez.

    One jigger of cheap vodka.
    Three fingers of prune juice.
    One scoop of Miralax.
    Garnish with one shallot.

    She is the enema of prosperity.

  4. This is ALMOST not a spoof.

    She reminds me of the Soviet stereotypes in old james Bond movies and old comedies. Except it isn’t funny.

    “Swimwear. Very nice.”

  5. Some French Philosopher coined the saying “we get the leaders we deserve” – No one deserves this, my baseball bat has more brains that idiot. Look out, both Cortez and Blasio are a product of our youth vote. Indoctrination through academia is beginning to manifest itself. My baseball bat may end up President yet.

  6. I said it before and I shall say it again…people actually voted for this little girl. Her parents must be proud of her and spending all that money to send her to college.

    She’s a child of the professional class and grew up in the New York City exurbs (in the northern end of Westchester County). Her father died about a dozen years ago, so the family was (I gather) fairly impecunious when she was a college student.

    Donkey-Compers inane remarks aside, there is something agreeable about this turn of events. The Albany nomenklatura engages reflexively in crony capitalism. The official favoritism to well-connected business enterprises is a bad business and it’s agreeable to see one of their shizzy schemes go down the tubes.

  7. No one deserves this, my baseball bat has more brains that idiot.

    The trouble is that her main asset is a certain rhythm and enthusiasm. If that’s what we want, we might as well put a mess of aerobics instructors in Congress.

  8. Off topic but somewhat related, for reasons I’ll get to shortly: Bruno Ganz, the actor who will probably be best remembered as “Internet Hitler,” has passed away. He played Hitler in the German film “Downfall,” whose scene of Hitler In the bunker became the basis of all the “Hitler finds out that….” memes. I would guess that someone has by now put together a “Cuomo/DeBlasio find out Amazon isn’t coming to Queens” video… or soon will.

  9. The trouble is that her main asset is a certain rhythm and enthusiasm.

    And here I thought the trouble is what a certain rhythm and enthusiasm do to her main assets.

  10. “You fool! What have you done?!” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo shouted at Ocasio-Cortez as he ran into her press conference.

    “I made us 3 billion dollars!” Ocasio-Cortez explained. “We were going to give Amazon 3 billion dollars in tax breaks, but now we have that money for other things since I chased them away.”

    “That’s not how it works!” Cuomo yelled, now openly weeping.

    Except that’s exactly how Democrats like Cuomo tell us it works when it comes to tax cuts, which are always something that we have to pay for and thus, can’t afford.

    So, can you really blame the poor girl for being the good little Progressive she was raised to be?

Comments are closed.