News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a statement to D.C. police given Tuesday, senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren claimed that two men in colonial outfits accosted her on the street and assaulted her with smallpox-infected blankets.
Warren claimed she was simply on her evening walk with her favorite peyote blend when the two men leaped out of the bushes, fired a round, spent several minutes reloading their muzzle-loading rifles, fired again, and then hollered “battle cries” as they hurled smallpox-infested blankets at her.
“The men fired muskets at me, threw several blankets infested with smallpox in my general direction, and told me this was colonial country,” she said, holding back tears. “They told me to go back to my reservation and that I wasn’t welcome here.”
According to Warren, the men stuck a feather in her hair and then called her “macaroni” before dancing around her in a mock Native American rain dance.
Go here to read the rest. It is a travesty in this fair land of freedom when a woman with 1/1024 American Indian blood flowing in her veins is subject to public mockery and ridicule. Or not.