PopeWatch: Exodus

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From the most intentionally humorous Catholic site on the net, A Catholic Misfit:

 

Mr. Moses
1 Mt Nebo Lane
Pisbah, Plains of Moab

Dear Mr. Moses:

Thank you for sending your manuscript, Exodus, to Promised Land Publishing. However, it doesn’t meet our needs at this time. Or at any time, for that matter. In all honesty, of all the submissions I read each year, yours is the worst I have ever had the misfortune of editing. Actually, I take that back. Gilgamesh Vs. The Zombie Warriors of Uruk was far worse, but at least that technically followed some basic literary rules.

I’m breaking protocol on your behalf, Mr. Moses, and returning your manuscript, complete with my notes. This doesn’t mean I’m suggesting you rewrite it. Maybe by seeing your mistakes, you’ll be dissuaded from pursuing a writing career, and stick to what you know best: tending sheep, leading people through a desert, speaking with God…

I’ve reprinted several passages as examples.  Your text is in black; my notes are bracketed in blue.

Go here to read the rest.  PopeWatch called the Vatican to see if they had been contacted by Mr. Moses.  To his astonishment PopeWatch got right through to the Pope.  “Ah, Gringo, you are calling me about your “Christmas present”?”  PopeWatch told the Pope that he had received nothing from the Vatican.  The Pope responded:  “Santa Maria!  Does anyone work in this mal place but me?  Fine, I will mail it myself!”  With that, the Pope hung up before PopeWatch could ask about Mr. Moses.

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