PopeWatch: Easter Worshiper Converts

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

In a surprise announcement to friends and family, local Easter Worshiper Ed Jenkins revealed Wednesday that he has decided to convert to Christianity.

The stunning announcement has reportedly shaken the faith of many of Jenkins’ fellow Easter Worshipers, some of whom claimed that Jenkins himself was the individual that first led them “to the faith.”

“He was a pillar of our community,” said 34-year-old Grace Decker. “I’ve only personally met him once, but I’ve gone to a lot of his talks. He was mesmerizing to listen to. He could so easily dissect the differences between our faith and that of the Christians, which is a huge deal in our community, as you could imagine.”

Jenkins has also made a public statement encouraging others to follow his example in learning about the Christian faith.

“Yes, our faith is an ancient faith—nearly five days old. Nevertheless, it is our duty to seek the truth no matter what. And that is what I did on this long journey to Christ. And I’ll add that it does feel real good to be able to go to Mass on days other than just Easter. I did hate that about our religion—only coming together once a year.”

At press time, poor Ed Jenkins doesn’t yet know that most followers of his new religion only “come together” just twice a year.    

 

Go here to read the comments.  PopeWatch attempted to call the Vatican for a comment, but when his call was picked up he heard a voice say, “Hello!  Easter-Worshipers-R-Us!, and PopeWatch immediately broke the connection.

 

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One Comment

  1. xrated comment. If only the penis worshipers convert. Those who hold their erection in absolute primacy and follow their erection where ever it takes them..
    If these erection worshipers convert and sublimate themsevles body and soul to God through Jesus Christ, they will free themselves from addiction to the vice of lust and enjoy peace on earth and a preternatural taste of heaven.

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