Jesus Hates Diversity

News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:


PORTLAND, OR—A leading New Testament scholar working at Unified Unity Divinity School has published a paper criticizing Jesus for a lack of diversity among the apostles He chose in the gospel accounts.

The woman, Dr. Diana T. Manger, pointed out that Jesus only chose Jewish males, refusing to implement diversity quotas for his group of disciples.

“Jesus chose all Jewish, cisgendered, able-bodied males: white supremacy, much?” she said as she presented her paper before a group of progressive scholars who had promised not to disagree with her. “It’s obvious that Jesus was a nationalistic, xenophobic, hate-filled fearmonger.”

Dr. Manger suggested that Jesus should have chosen more women, more transgender disciples, a disciple in a wheelchair, and at least one woman who is 1/1024th Native American. “The sickeningly homogenous group of disciples should have looked more like the Burger King Kid’s Club,” she said to applause.

“It really hurts Jesus’s witness that he did not enforce 21st-century diversity quotas on his disciples,” she said.


Go here to read the rest.  Wait till she reads the Old Testament.  All the Chosen People passages will put her into cardiac arrest.

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  1. Wait a second.
    Judas was Gay and a Democrat.
    He supported a woman’s right to kill her own child. He even worked for Senator Barack Obama in Chicago, so that should account for some diversity credit.

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