Darth Vader for Choice

Share on facebook
Facebook 0
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn 0
Share on reddit
Reddit 0
Share on delicious
Delicious
Share on digg
Digg
Share on stumbleupon
StumbleUpon 0
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on email
Email
Share on print
Print

 

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

 

Hey, loyal subjects of the Empire. Darth Vader here, Dark Lord of the Sith and renowned pro-choice advocate.

Plenty of buzz has been going around the comlinks about if we should have destroyed Alderaan. Some people claim we are killing innocent people with our giant green super laser that can snuff out billions of insignificant little lives all at once. Some point out that the lives we claim are actual living creatures, rather than just a clump of rebel scum.

Let me be clear about this once and for all:

My 👏 Death 👏 Star 👏, my 👏 choice 👏 !

It couldn’t be any simpler than that.

I am a leader of the Empire. The Empire owns the Death Star. The Empire also owns hundreds of planets. These planets are a part of the Empire. Therefore, if we melt the faces off of a billion humans at once, guess what? It’s simply my choice. It doesn’t matter whether or not the organisms we kill are separate and distinct from the Empire. It is an issue of superlaser-productive rights.

Go here to read the rest.  Final Vader comment:  “Hey, it isn’t as if I had kids on the planet.  I mean I am evil incarnate, hence the black costume and deep breathing, but even I wouldn’t kill my own flesh and blood.  Only a true monster could do that!  Now, time to hunt down some more rebel scum.”

More to explorer

Not the Onion

  Blunt brains:   Once upon a time, the British Empire was the bada** of the world. It could go where it

Make America Blind Again

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—Speaking on The View, presidential candidate Joe Biden promised to bring the nation

Saint of the Day Quote: Saint Alice the Leper

Sweetest Sister! Be not so afflicted! Do not imagine that is for sins of my own that I am prey to these