Kermit, We Hardly Knew Ye

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News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:


HOLLYWOOD, CA—Protesters crowded around the Jim Henson Company lot in Hollywood Monday to protest Kermit the Frog and his “obvious ties to Pepe,” the internet-famous frog meme associated with alt-right trolls and white supremacists. Though Kermit had zero connection to Pepe outside of his species, protestors insisted the frog resign immediately. By Tuesday, the Henson Company had given in to the demands and Kermit was fired from his position as CEO.

The company was prompted to act after Kermit attempted to address the controversy on Twitter, only making matters worse. In one tweet, Kermit claimed he would never reject his own species because of one “amphibious troll.” The Twittersphere hammered this statement, creating memes mocking the tweet such as one depicting Adolph Hitler with the spoofed tweet overlayed with the text, “I can’t reject the Nazi party just because of one fascist troll.”

Many of the responding tweets said if Kermit wasn’t willing to disown the frog species and get trans-specieal surgery, it only proved the felt frog’s allegiance to the alt-right. By Tuesday afternoon, many of the Muppets had come out rejecting Kermit’s statements and calling for his resignation.

Other  Muppet responses to Kermit included Miss Piggy claiming, “He was always weirded out about our inter-specieal relationship. I guess for some Muppets, morality is less important than the color of your felt.” Gonzo simply said, “Kermit’s defending bigots? And people say I’m the crazy one.” Scooter, one of the most openly left-wing of the Muppets came out hard against his green colleague.

While some people made suggestions for other animals Kermit could be instead of a frog, such as a bush baby or a fainting goat, others said it was too late. The thousands of hours of entertainment Kermit offered represent a deep history of Pepe support that could not be erased with one simple species-change, they claimed.

Go here to read the rest.  Time to simply hoist the Black Flag Kermit, that is the only career remaining to you.

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