PopeWatch: Even if One Were to Rise From the Dead

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Piggy-backing off the recent excitement over FaceApp, Catholic developers have released GraceFace, an application that reveals what users will look like for all eternity.

“Like FaceApp, GraceFace uses a phone’s camera to take a picture of the user, but it then projects what their body will look like following the Resurrection of the Body at the end of time,” said Ken Carson, lead developer for GraceFace. “People love seeing their glorified bodies. Youthful, joyful, no wrinkles.”

But some users experience shock and horror in seeing their future selves.

“It was a big breakthrough when we were able to buy user data from Google, Apple, and Amazon,” said Carson. “Analyzing browsing history, social media usage, purchase history, text messages, voice data, and location information, we are able to predict with 99.8% accuracy whether an individual is currently in a state of grace–whether they’re going to Heaven or Hell. Users determined to be in a state of grace see their glorified bodies, while users in a state of sin see themselves writhing, wailing, and gnashing their teeth while being consumed by flames. The app has been a revelation for some.”

“The moment I saw myself in those flames, I went to Confession,” said local parishioner Arthur Hackett. “When I came out I looked at myself again and thought, ‘I didn’t know I could look so good!’”

But others like nominal Catholic Jennifer Williams took issue with GraceApp’s evaluations.

“It’s just not right,” Williams told EOTT. “This thing shows me burning, but I haven’t killed anyone and even went to Mass last Easter. It’s so wrong.”

Go here to comment.  PopeWatch called the Vatican for comment, but was told that no member of the hierarchy as they were all attending an emergency conference on Dante’s Inferno.  And with that PopeWatch will be on vacation hiatus until August 5, 2019.


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  1. If this was available how would use it? And how many would believe it?

    My guess the whole thing would turn into a source of laughs pretty quick due to lack of faith. Thus few would benefit. And really no different that the impact of the Catholic Church now without this gizmo.

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