News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
ATLANTA, GA—CNN host Brian Stelter blamed President Trump for the network’s falling ratings Sunday, accusing the president of killing millions upon millions of people that otherwise might have tuned into CNN.
“If Trump weren’t killing off most of America by the millions, we’d still have a pretty solid viewer base,” Stelter bellowed at the three viewers watching Reliable Sources. “Airports, lobbies, waiting rooms, and gas station pumps are now playing CNN to absolutely no one, since Trump has killed them all.”
A guest on Stelter’s show suggested that Trump has killed more people than Hitler, Mao, and Stalin put together, and Stelter had to agree. “I’d probably put his death count at somewhere near 7.7 billion,” he said after doing some simple math on one of those giant novelty calculators he keeps handy for such an occasion. “We can’t overstate the damage this president has done to this once-great news station.”
Go here to read the rest. How bad are the ratings of CNN? Well, their rival Fox News has been the most watched cable news channel for 212 months running, and has been the most viewed basic cable channel for 37 months. In July CNN was behind Fox News in viewership which was not news. What was news, however, was that CNN was also behind MSNBC, Nickelodeon, HGTV and Investigation Discovery. CNN finished seventh in July . On average they had just over 557,000 viewers during that month. I would think in a country this size a network displaying classic test patterns with music from the fifties and the sixties could probably beat CNN in ratings. Oh, and Brian Stelter? His viewership collapsed this year from January to July with a ratings decline of 42%. The wages of Trump Derangement Syndrome seem to be that soon you are competing for audiences with crazy people yelling insults to invisible people on the street.