News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at a DC-area Costco, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was asked to leave Costco again after repeatedly accusing a lady handing out food samples of being a Russian asset.
It wasn’t clear how Clinton had ended up in the Costco, as she usually has her servants’ servants go to the market for her. Some suggested she wanted to disguise herself and go be among her subjects to see how the other 99% lives.
Whatever the case, the sample lady had apparently offered the failed presidential candidate a small paper cup of orange juice and told her the packs were on sale for $9.49 when the incident occurred.
“Orange… orange like Trump!” Clinton screamed suddenly, frightening the poor food demonstration worker. “You’re in league with him, aren’t you!?” The failed presidential candidate lunged across the cart and attempted to pull off her face mask, certain the lady was actually Vladimir Putin in a skin suit.
When that failed and the woman shooed her off with a plastic glove, Clinton turned for help and began screaming, “Security! Margaret in the frozen foods aisle is a Russian asset! Help, help, our elections are being meddled with!”
Guards arrived but relaxed when they saw it was just Hillary Clinton. “OK, lady, let’s go,” they said, grabbing her by each arm.
Go here to read the rest. Considering her marriage to Bill, I can understand why Hillary checks under every bed. What I can’t understand is how she keeps finding Russian assets under every bed. You know, the argument that Trump is a maniac would have far more force if so many members in good standing of the establishment did not keep demonstrating that they are far more deranged than Trump on his worst day.