Bye Beto

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

U.S.—Presidential candidate Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke has announced he is dropping out of the presidential race so that he can spend more time taking guns away from his family. “I’ve been so focused on grabbing the guns of strangers,” O’Rourke told the press, “that I’ve neglected taking away the guns of those closest to me.”

The news was especially upsetting for the millions of AR-15 owners who had just been waiting for a politician to come and free them of their scary burden. “I guess I’m stuck with these,” said gun owner Rex Wells, standing in front of his arsenal of semi-automatic rifles.

Go here to read the rest.  I guess the media will have to find another fake Hispanic/fake Kennedy to swoon over.