“As God as my Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly!”

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Well actually some Turkeys can.  Wild Turkeys can fly, albeit clumsily and not more than about 100 yards at a time.  Domestic Turkeys, bred for the table, cannot fly, largely due to their overdeveloped chests, home to all that prized white breast meat.  I don’t know if the publicity stunt would have fared much better with terrified flying wild Turkeys landing near onlookers.  Some things man simply was not meant to meddle with, and that includes dropping Turkeys from great heights.

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6 Comments

  1. My service turkey made it cross country once, without roosting. Seriously though, as a hunter, I’ve been startled more than once by a big tom busting out of a tree over my head. They can fly, but their real amazing feat (besides running like a sports-car) is snoozing on a one or two inch branch without falling.

  2. Wild turkeys can indeed fly. They were a big nuisance at a nuclear power plant in the northeast where I once worked. Typically in autumn they would fly across the double barbed wire fences into the Protected Area, setting off fence protection system and TV camera automated alarms. Sometimes one of the stupid birds would land in the area between the fences and not have enough clearance to take off again. At that point the security guards wanted a turkey shoot, but the on-site inspectors from US Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) took a very dim view of such activities. Seeing a security guard trying to catch a hapless gobbler was well worth all the freezing cold late night work of fixing the sensor wires that the bird’s crash landing broke. Again, the on-site US NRC inspectors were un-amused. Neither govt officials nor nuclear security guards have any sense of humor! I think eventually some sort of sonic devices inaudible to humans but irritating to turkeys and ducks (who did this sort of thing in spring time) were installed (but the devices had to be un-irritating to security dogs – the right frequency has to be chosen). Sadly no more night time shift work entertainment!

  3. True story: In the late 60s or early70s there was a councilman first name Cass who was running for office in Knoxville. He had a lot of money and he was giving away turkeys before Thanksgiving. Except that he was tossing them off the roof of his supermarket and they were frozen. Long before WKRP in Cincinnati.
    Proud of myself – I remembered his last name and found him on Wikipedia: “Cas Walker’s stores had a simple rural atmosphere that was popular with the city’s working class whites and African-Americans. He used his radio show and other innovative methods— such as scattering coupons from airplanes— to advertise his store’s weekly specials. By the mid-1950s, Walker’s chain had grown to include 27 stores that generated a gross annual revenue of $60 million.”
    He was a controversial politician. ” Walker’s political mentor-turned-rival, George Dempster, once said, “If I ordered a whole carload of SOB’s and they just sent Cas, I’d sign for the shipment.”

  4. ”Walker’s political mentor-turned-rival, George Dempster, once said, “If I ordered a whole carload of SOB’s and they just sent Cas, I’d sign for the shipment.”

    That goes into my little black book of “appropriated” quotes!

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