Never Let a Crisis Go to Waste

 

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democratic lawmakers are blocking the stimulus bill proposed in Congress, slamming their Republican colleagues for refusing to include reparations for transgender Native Americans affected by climate change.

“If we aren’t handing billions of dollars to Native Americans with gender dysphoria displaced by our current climate emergency, then what are we even doing here?” shouted Chuck Schumer in a scathing speech outside the Capitol Building. “The American people are waiting for us to pass this bill, and the evil Republicans are stubbornly insisting we don’t earmark billions for our transgender indigenous brothers and sisters and others.”

The Democrats’ version of the bill would set aside $500 billion to fund gender reassignment surgeries and reparations for any indigenous person who has been forced to move thanks to the climate emergency. 

“Millions will die if we do not get this added to the bill,” Nancy Pelosi warned gravely. “American families are hurting, yes, but they need to wait a while longer so we can get all our pet projects added to the bill.”

More demands of the Democrats include the following:

  • Funding for Cats 2
  • Research into green, environmentally friendly moon power
  • $50 million earmarked for research into USB cables that you can plug in correctly the first time
  • Saving the endangered striped desert moose ant
  • $100 million to bring back popular soda Tab
  • A large supply of rainbow flags to have on hand just in case
  • More butlers in the Capitol Building
  • Funding for ten more seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race
  • Free housing for undocumented Mexican spider monkeys

Go here to read the rest.  The Democrat Party has a very long history of putting their partisan agenda before the good of the people.  This is completely unsurprising.

 

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20 Comments

  1. “We, the people…” are constituents of government of the people, for the people, and by the people. The swamp in Washington will be drained by the voters.

  2. This is bullshit. You would scream bloody murder if Obama’s treasury secretary had many billions of dollars to hand out in secret but you’re totally happy with Orange Julius doing this because Orange Julius lets you openly hate everyone who isn’t a wealthy white male. You and your bunch of wife-beating racists can go about your business, and when you get sick you have no rights to hospital beds or health care.

  3. Karen’s comment is typical of the type of comment I normally would delete, since it is not proper to mock either the irrational or the terminally stupid, but I decided to make an exception in her case. No doubt it will alarm her to learn that the Democrats apparently came to terms with Trump overnight. Perhaps the Democrats are also wife-beating racists who hate everyone who is not a wealthy white male?

  4. It is a comment that can only come from someone who adheres to a party that executes babies simply because they are alive.

  5. It’s got to be performance art. (AKA, trolling.) The only way it could be more perfect would be if it made a demand to speak to the manager.

  6. If it’s performance art, it’s bad performance art. I can’t figure out what she’s upset about: Secrecy? Racism/Sexism/anti-whateverism? Republicans were against stimulus before they were for it? And what does any of that have to do with Democrats putting their partisan goals ahead of the good of the nation? Is this a crisis or just another “crisis?”

    And really, it’s all so disappointing. Don runs a class site for discriminating commenters, who deserve quality trolling. We can get that incoherent emo crap anywhere.

    Be better Karen, be better.

  7. It’s so weird how the Democrats as the: party of slavery, Jim Crow, and now judge people “not” by the content of their character but by the color of their skin, have gotten away with their smears and lies against republicans for so long.
    Enough!

  8. I’d like to see both the Republican and the Democratic parties crack-up.

    And I think Trump might just be the man to do it.

  9. I’m tired of hearing Gov. Cuomo acting like he’s president .He’s lcalled on Trump to invoke Defense Production Act in fight against coronavirus. Why should Trump nationalize industry when companies of their own volition are already retooling to make health care products; some are donating them from their stock on hand in warehouses.
    Cuomo also issued a stark warning for people around the country: “What happens to New York is going to wind up happening to California and Washington state and Illinois. We’re just getting there first.”
    Who is he to issue such a warning! We should be getting our virus statistics from President Trump, VP Pence and his team not Cuomo and his crystal ball..

  10. Is Karen actually Mark Shea undercover?

    @Stephen – There used to be a regular at Mark Shea’s blog who legit went by the name of “karen” and the comment styles are not too dissimilar. I think the CAEI Karen was maybe a bit more coherent and articulate but 4 years stewing in the media distortion field would warp any mind so it could still be her.

    What gets me is that I can’t get people to even have a moment of self-realization. Like how just a year or two ago, Trump was nuHitler for locking up kids in cages. Now governors all over the nation are locking people up in houses (and soon – cages if they don’t behave) and praising memes are made about them. If people could at least articulate how “this time it’s different” or give me a “well here’s a sign we should stop” then I would at least be comfortable with agreeing to disagree. But nobody seems to even think that far. They’re outright banning religion and public assembly – rights which, last I checked, were in the first amendment – and almost nobody in my circle is going “hey wait a minute…”

    That so few show signs of getting their hackles up or even expressing “well I don’t like this, but we’ll go along for now.” have convinced me I am probably going to live long enough to watch America end. (oh it won’t be this year, or even the next 5…)

  11. I hope so, Don. But some days I wonder if you and I will be the only ones left fighting.

    I mean I’ll still fight, but I’ll also hate having to do it.

    But then Gandalf tells me that so do all who live to see such times.

  12. You do realize that you are citing a satire website in this post don’t you? The Babylon Bee is all Satire.

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