News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
BURLINGTON, VT—From one of his many sprawling homes, Bernie Sanders announced today that he has tested negative for president.
Addressing concerned supporters, Sanders broke the news that medical professionals have informed him he is 100% negative for president.
“The test results came back, and thankfully, they were negative,” Sanders said to his supporters. “There wasn’t even 1/1024th of a trace of presidential material in me. I have been cleared to return to my usual schtick of ranting about billionaires. Although, if I become a billionaire, I will switch to complaining about trillionaires.”
“Curse you, billionaihs!” he added.
Go here to read the rest. With Sanders out the Denocrat presidential nomination contest ends on a sickly whimper. The Democrats now have a standard bearer with manifestly failing mental faculties and who, apparently, judging from how little he is seen, is now in the Presidential Candidate version of the Witness Protection Program.