It was announced today by the Vatican that the Pope Emeritus has agreed to be the abbot of the first Catholic monastery to be established in Antarctica.
Pope Francis: I am pleased that my illustrious predecessor has agreed to take on this arduous task. I am making certain that the monastery will be well supplied with that swill the Germans call beer and plenty of sausage paste in tubes, which I believe is a favorite of the former Pope.
Pope Benedict: Mmm! Guttural sounds.
Reporter: Holiness, why is duct tape over the mouth of the Pope Emeritus?
Pope Francis: He has taken a vow of perpetual silence.
Reporter: Why is the Pope Emeritus in a wheel chair?
Pope Francis: He tires easily these days.
Reporter: Why are there chains around the Pope Emeritus?
Pope Francis: We don’t want him to fall out and hurt himself.
Reporter: What order will the monastery be affiliated with?
Pope Francis: Jesuit. I have hand picked the monks staffing the monastery myself.
Reporter: Has there ever been a Jesuit monastery before?
Pope Francis: Basta! That is enough questions. My predecessor has a plane to catch.
The Pope Emeritus was then wheeled into a waiting van.
Pope Francis: (Waving.) Goodby Benny! Baptize a penguin for me.
PopeWatch then woke up, vowing never again to eat bratwurst pizza while binge watching The Savage Innocents and The Shoes of the Fisherman.
As usual, the Russian Orthodox have a place already prepared: Holy Trinity Church on King George Island near Bellingshausen Station, a Russian research station in Antarctica.
It’s small, but it’ll do in a pinch. However, I think it’s more appropriate that Pope Francis goes there. Besides, King George Island isn’t all that far from Argentina, Pope Francis’ homeland, by boat.
Papa Bene sleeps with the fishes.
And the service is in Spanish! “Faithful in the frost”, notes one wag.