Donald R. McClarey

They Will Need a Wing Just For Mark Shea

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—The nation’s psychiatric wards are preparing themselves for an influx of deranged liberals, as Robert Mueller’s official report into Russian collusion has now been filed with the attorney general. As

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Donald R. McClarey

Dear Crazy Leader

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a scathing Twitter thread, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took Fox News hosts to task for not referring to her using her proper title: “Dear Leader.” “Fox News likes to

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Donald R. McClarey

David Indemnity

  ENTER KING DAVID.  He should be reminiscent of Fred MacMurray in “Double Indemnity.”                                                                   DAVID                                     It’s not easy being the King of the Israelites,                                     but it has its compensations.  For instance, that                                     day I was

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Donald R. McClarey

Che 2020?

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: SANTA CLARA, CUBA—Is Marxist revolutionary Che Guevara too moderate for a 2020 run as a Democrat? That’s the question the left is asking after Guevara was resurrected by a leftist

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Donald R. McClarey

Drinks Like Ted Too

And votes like him on abortion.   Of course Robert Francis O’Rourke hasn’t killed anyone yet, but then Ted Kennedy never wrote out a fantasy about running over kids;   “One day, as I was driving home from work, I

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Donald R. McClarey

I Was Expecting This

News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   SILICON VALLEY, CA— Facebook on Friday issued an apology to PragerU for “mistakenly” removing Dennis Prager from his La Cañada Flintridge home late Wednesday night and torturing him in a

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PopeWatch: Exodus

From the most intentionally humorous Catholic site on the net, A Catholic Misfit:   Mr. Moses 1 Mt Nebo Lane Pisbah, Plains of Moab Dear Mr. Moses: Thank you for sending your manuscript, Exodus, to Promised Land Publishing. However, it

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Donald R. McClarey

Inevitable

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   HELL—In a statement offered to reporters during a 15-minute recess from hell, dictator and mass murderer Joseph Stalin announced he now identifies as a strong woman of color in order

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Donald R. McClarey

Quotes Suitable for Framing: Top Catholic

    I fear that the young generation of new priests isn’t being taught guitar in our seminaries anymore. This ancient tradition that dates back at least 40 years may soon die out. What a loss for Church that would

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: It’s On

News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   VATICAN CITY—After centuries of theological disputes, Protestants and Catholics have agreed to resolve their differences in an exciting, non-violent way: a high-stakes Mario Kart tournament, with the winner taking all.

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Donald R. McClarey

Game of Presidents

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   KING’S LANDING—Entering an already crowded field of 2020 Democratic candidates, Cersei Lannister, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven

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Donald R. McClarey

Kalends of March

  Tomorrow is the Kalends of March.  On this day in 293 AD the Emperors Diocletian and Maximian appointed Constantius Chlorus and Galerius as Caesars.  Constantius Chlorus and Galerian eventually became Emperors.  On the death of his father, Constantine seized

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Donald R. McClarey

A Young Woman of No Breeding

  News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee: U.S.—The nation breathed a collective sigh of relief Monday while watching footage in which Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez appeared to come out against the concept of reproducing. Stating they realized that we

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Donald R. McClarey

The Grad Student Experience Summarized

            Mamas’ don’t let your babies grow up to be grad students Don’t let ’em read Kant or write philosophy Let ’em be workers who earn living wages Mamas’ don’t let your babies grow up

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Donald R. McClarey

Makes Sense

From John Dickerson on Twitter: My dear Wormwood,   I see you’ve gotten the patient to join Twitter. My work is done here.   Your affectionate uncle,   SCREWTAPE  

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Done

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:   Hours after the first day of the Vatican Sex Abuse Summit concluded yesterday, Pope Francis stood before close to 200 participants and a small

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Donald R. McClarey

Hate Crime

News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a statement to D.C. police given Tuesday, senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren claimed that two men in colonial outfits accosted her on the street and assaulted her

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Donald R. McClarey

Fifty Years

Hattip to commenter Dale Price.  My motto has always been:  “Slay all the Lunies, and let God sort ’em out!”

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Donald R. McClarey

The Duke Sends His Warmest Regards to SJWs Everywhere

  News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   HOLLYWOOD, CA—After a 1971 Playboy interview with John Wayne that was deemed offensive surfaced online, liberal activists took to the streets to boycott the actor, vowing that Wayne will

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Donald R. McClarey

Eating Their Own

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is busy celebrating her victory over the tyrannical Jeff Bezos and the horrible burden his company Amazon had planned to inflict on the people of

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Kasper the Friendly Cardinal

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:   Just days after Cardinal Müller published a “Manifesto of Faith,” which reiterated fundamental Catholic teachings in response to what he sees as growing confusion

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Donald R. McClarey

Ah Romance!

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   CHANDLER, AZ—Marlena Bennington, girlfriend to Jace Everly for nearly three years, is absolutely swooning as Valentine’s Day approaches. “This is our third Valentine’s Day as a couple,” Bennington told

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Donald R. McClarey

English is Hard!

    News that I missed, courtesy of the The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—The controversial Green New Deal ran into trouble early on when an FAQ of the details was placed on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s website and then pulled down

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Donald R. McClarey

The Pizza Ten Commandments

  Today is National Pizza Day.  Time to recall the Ten Pizza Commandments:     I am thy Pepperoni, which hath brought thee out of the land of hunger, out of the house of fasting.  Thou shalt have no other

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Clutter

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber: Telling reporters that he brought in famed organizing consultant Marie Kondo to help consolidate and clean up the Vatican, Pope Francis Thursday said that he

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Donald R. McClarey

You Knew This Was Coming

    News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senator Elizabeth Warren is embroiled in controversy once again, this time after she admitted to wearing racially offensive “paleface” at a costume party back in her college days.

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Donald R. McClarey

Bringing a Sword

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   PHOENIX, AZ—Private Christian school Grand Canyon University has disinvited Jesus Christ from its campus in order to preserve the school’s mission of unity after uncovering controversial comments made by the

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Donald R. McClarey

Northam is Color Blind When It Comes to Infanticide

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   RICHMOND, VA—Embattled Virginia Governor Ralph Northam is fighting calls for his resignation over his past wearing of blackface. He assures the public that he is not a racist and

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