Donald R. McClarey

Get Thee Behind Me Pineapple Satan!

  Harsh language advisory as to the above video.  (It is Gordon Ramsey after all.)   The Babylon Bee tackles the big issues: In our “Pastors Weigh In” column, we ask a wide range of prominent pastors important questions regarding

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Donald R. McClarey

Statolatry

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   NEW YORK, NY—Local man Ricky Quintana has taken criticism for what some call his “archaic” and “outdated” beliefs. While most people have matured enough to discard silly childish ideas,

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Donald R. McClarey

From Her Lips

        News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   NABOO—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has come under fire after giving a speech to a crowd of Gungan supporters on the planet of Naboo. Critics claim Ocasio-Cortez clearly

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Donald R. McClarey

Math is Tough

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:     WASHINGTON, D.C.—During a recent media appearance, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez came prepared to defend her Green New Deal and far-left economic policies.  She even stopped at CVS on the way and

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Patheos

From the most intentionally humorous Catholic site on the net, A Catholic Misfit: (ACMPress) A spokesman for Patheos Inc announced this morning they are launching a new channel by week’s end: The Ex-Catholic Channel. “Given the growing number of ex-Catholics

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Donald R. McClarey

Reparations: Finally!

    News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—A federal judge has ordered the Walt Disney Company to pay financial reparations to loyal Star Wars fans. Lawyers proved beyond a reasonable doubt that Disney acted maliciously

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Donald R. McClarey

Creepy Uncle Joe

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: NEW YORK, NY—L’Oréal USA announced in a press release Tuesday that the company is introducing “The Biden Collection” under its Garnier Fructis brand. The shampoos and conditioners are said to give

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Donald R. McClarey

Telling Truth Out of Season

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—Over the weekend, as pro-life film Unplanned enjoyed a strong debut at the box office, Twitter employees took action against the movie’s social media account for displaying “dangerous, potentially truth-telling content.” The

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Donald R. McClarey

Jobs Americans Will Not Do

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   CHICAGO, IL—The NAACP has given Jussie Smollett a prestigious award for his important work creating much-needed jobs for Nigerian-American citizens. The Association created the new “Nigerian-American Job Creation” award

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Tasty Ring

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:   Recent footage of Pope Francis shows him repeatedly pulling his hand away from a line of people attempting to take a lick of his

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Donald R. McClarey

About How I Felt During the Obama Administration

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   PORTLAND, OR—This morning, local liberal woman Meagan Porter jumped up from a terrible nightmare in which Trump was cleared of Russian collusion charges by Robert Mueller, Michael Avenatti was arrested

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Donald R. McClarey

Main Finding of the Mueller Investigation: Hillary was the Worst

    News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—After a two-year-long investigation that included thousands of indictments, hundreds of search warrants, and several guilty pleas, Robert Mueller and the FBI managed to provide conclusive proof

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Donald R. McClarey

They Will Need a Wing Just For Mark Shea

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—The nation’s psychiatric wards are preparing themselves for an influx of deranged liberals, as Robert Mueller’s official report into Russian collusion has now been filed with the attorney general. As

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Donald R. McClarey

Dear Crazy Leader

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a scathing Twitter thread, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took Fox News hosts to task for not referring to her using her proper title: “Dear Leader.” “Fox News likes to

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Donald R. McClarey

David Indemnity

  ENTER KING DAVID.  He should be reminiscent of Fred MacMurray in “Double Indemnity.”                                                                   DAVID                                     It’s not easy being the King of the Israelites,                                     but it has its compensations.  For instance, that                                     day I was

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Donald R. McClarey

Che 2020?

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: SANTA CLARA, CUBA—Is Marxist revolutionary Che Guevara too moderate for a 2020 run as a Democrat? That’s the question the left is asking after Guevara was resurrected by a leftist

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Donald R. McClarey

Drinks Like Ted Too

And votes like him on abortion.   Of course Robert Francis O’Rourke hasn’t killed anyone yet, but then Ted Kennedy never wrote out a fantasy about running over kids;   “One day, as I was driving home from work, I

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Donald R. McClarey

I Was Expecting This

News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   SILICON VALLEY, CA— Facebook on Friday issued an apology to PragerU for “mistakenly” removing Dennis Prager from his La Cañada Flintridge home late Wednesday night and torturing him in a

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PopeWatch: Exodus

From the most intentionally humorous Catholic site on the net, A Catholic Misfit:   Mr. Moses 1 Mt Nebo Lane Pisbah, Plains of Moab Dear Mr. Moses: Thank you for sending your manuscript, Exodus, to Promised Land Publishing. However, it

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Donald R. McClarey

Inevitable

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   HELL—In a statement offered to reporters during a 15-minute recess from hell, dictator and mass murderer Joseph Stalin announced he now identifies as a strong woman of color in order

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Donald R. McClarey

Quotes Suitable for Framing: Top Catholic

    I fear that the young generation of new priests isn’t being taught guitar in our seminaries anymore. This ancient tradition that dates back at least 40 years may soon die out. What a loss for Church that would

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: It’s On

News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   VATICAN CITY—After centuries of theological disputes, Protestants and Catholics have agreed to resolve their differences in an exciting, non-violent way: a high-stakes Mario Kart tournament, with the winner taking all.

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Donald R. McClarey

Game of Presidents

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   KING’S LANDING—Entering an already crowded field of 2020 Democratic candidates, Cersei Lannister, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven

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Donald R. McClarey

Kalends of March

  Tomorrow is the Kalends of March.  On this day in 293 AD the Emperors Diocletian and Maximian appointed Constantius Chlorus and Galerius as Caesars.  Constantius Chlorus and Galerian eventually became Emperors.  On the death of his father, Constantine seized

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Donald R. McClarey

A Young Woman of No Breeding

  News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee: U.S.—The nation breathed a collective sigh of relief Monday while watching footage in which Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez appeared to come out against the concept of reproducing. Stating they realized that we

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Donald R. McClarey

The Grad Student Experience Summarized

            Mamas’ don’t let your babies grow up to be grad students Don’t let ’em read Kant or write philosophy Let ’em be workers who earn living wages Mamas’ don’t let your babies grow up

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Donald R. McClarey

Makes Sense

From John Dickerson on Twitter: My dear Wormwood,   I see you’ve gotten the patient to join Twitter. My work is done here.   Your affectionate uncle,   SCREWTAPE  

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Done

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:   Hours after the first day of the Vatican Sex Abuse Summit concluded yesterday, Pope Francis stood before close to 200 participants and a small

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Donald R. McClarey

Hate Crime

News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a statement to D.C. police given Tuesday, senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren claimed that two men in colonial outfits accosted her on the street and assaulted her

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