Donald R. McClarey

Culturally Sensitive

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—In order to ensure all headlines about Islamic terrorism are culturally sensitive and do not offend any brave freedom fighters in the Middle East, The Washington Post has retained an ISIS marketing

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Donald R. McClarey

Duck Too?

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   HOLLYWOOD, CA—Times have changed in Hollywood since the early days, and no one is learning that lesson harder than industry veteran Donald Duck. Multiple sources have accused him of walking

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Donald R. McClarey

California Quiz

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: SACRAMENTO, CA—California is being heralded as a progressive utopia after eliminating electricity entirely. Working by candelight at his desk, Governor Gavin Newsom signed a new law that bans electricity, propelling the

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Donald R. McClarey

Moloch

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—The ancient god Moloch has announced that in lieu of the actual blood sacrifice of your children, you can now simply force your kids to become transgender as an

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Donald R. McClarey

President Hillary Clinton

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources close to Hillary Clinton, the failed presidential candidate was gently returned to her padded cell disguised as the Oval Office over the weekend. After the failed

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Donald R. McClarey

The Rooskies Are Coming! The Rooskies Are Coming!

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at a DC-area Costco, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was asked to leave Costco again after repeatedly accusing a lady handing out food samples of

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Purgatory

News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has made one of his official, Popey announcements. (For our Protestant audience, a declaration from the pope is kinda like when Russell Moore tweets something; it carries a

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Donald R. McClarey

Like a Crucifix to Vampires

News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee: U.S.—Antifa factions nationwide had planned a “deface Columbus day,” on which they intended to deface and destroy statues of Christopher Columbus Monday, but authorities in many cities got the better of

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Donald R. McClarey

Bat Capitalist

    News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   GOTHAM CITY—Billionaire Bruce Wayne has come under fire for the way he dresses up as a bat and beats up alleged criminals. Many refer to his activity as

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Donald R. McClarey

Comrades Under the Black Uniforms

    News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:     ARLINGTON, VA—Last night, members of the militant anti-fascist group Antifa raided the headquarters of the American Nazi Party and stole numerous books, pamphlets, brochures, and other propaganda

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Just a Man

Italian journalist Eugenio Scalfari, a 95 year old atheist, has made quite a stir with the report that he has had an interview with Jesus Christ.  According to Scalfari, Christ said in that interview that Pope Francis was just a

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Donald R. McClarey

Bearded Spock Universe LarryBoy

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   BURBANK, CA—DC Films has offered the first look at its dark new take on a beloved hero: LarryBoy: Dawn of Produce. At a special closed-door press conference on the Warner

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Donald R. McClarey

A Modest Proposal

  News that I missed courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   NEW YORK, NY—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently held a town hall where a party of orcs stole the show. As Ocasio-Cortez was driving home a point about saving the planet

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Donald R. McClarey

To Forgive is Racist!

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—Forgiveness and hugs are among the 36 new entries recently added to a database of hateful gestures used by white supremacists and other far-right extremists. According to the Anti-Defamation

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Donald R. McClarey

Down With Christian Forgiveness

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: ISRAEL—There was a certain man who had two sons, and the younger son demanded his inheritance and then wasted it all in a distant country. When the son came crawling back,

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Jokester

Many observers of Pope Francis fail to realize what a superb sense of humor he has.  Here is a sample:   Pope Francis said he reacted “with a sense of humour” to the accusation of heresy made against him earlier

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Donald R. McClarey

News to Her

    News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Hillary Clinton once again suggested that Donald Trump was an illegitimate president, one unfortunate staffer was forced to be the one to gently inform her that she

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Donald R. McClarey

Father of Mostly True Lies

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: U.S.—As the only unbiased arbiter of truth in a world of fake news, Snopes continues to expand its selfless mission to fact-check all the things everywhere. Whether they’re calling out a

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Donald R. McClarey

The America We Grew Up In

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will

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Donald R. McClarey

Well, That Explains It

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Representative Adam Schiff came under scrutiny for reading a fake version of the phone call between President Donald Trump and the president of Ukraine, Schiff was forced to admit

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Donald R. McClarey

Trust the Government

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: KENT, OH—While speaking at Kent State University, Beto O’Rourke—who is allegedly running for president—cited Nazi firing squads as grounds for taking guns away from private citizens. “These Nazis used guns to shoot their

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Donald R. McClarey

Hang Ups

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—The recently released transcript of Trump and the Ukrainian president contained many juicy tidbits for pundits to argue over. But perhaps the most interesting part was the conclusion of

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Donald R. McClarey

Swimmingly

Any day with a new Lutheran Satire video is a good day.  Who knew that Bart Ehrman was a swimmer?

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Donald R. McClarey

Poor Puppet

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: NEW YORK, NY—Climate activist and adolescent Greta Thunberg gave a passionate speech at the UN Climate Action Summit in New York, declaring, “How dare you? You have stolen my dreams and

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Experimental

From the only reliable source of news on the net, The Onion:   VATICAN CITY—Saying that he wouldn’t recommend such an invasive course of action unless the situation was dire, Pope Francis told a sinner Thursday that a risky experimental

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Donald R. McClarey

100 Things Every Man Should Know

  For the weekend.  100 Things to Remember (1999) by the late great Tim Wilson.  My bride has described it as The Gods of the Copybook Headings for hillbillies.

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