Donald R. McClarey

Deplorables Redux

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   NEW YORK, NY—Over the weekend, CNN’s Don Lemon burst out in a fit of laughter with his panel of monocled, tophat wearing geese. While Lemon tried to talk about

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Donald R. McClarey

Rhythm?

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   SANTA ANA, CA—The nation’s black churches have announced a plan to begin sending missionaries to their white brothers and sisters’ churches in order to teach them how to clap

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Donald R. McClarey

About Time

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—The Babylon Bee has been the world’s best satire site for thousands of years, spawning dozens of secular knock-offs that just aren’t quite as good. The site announced a new

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Relic

News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   ROME—New Year’s Eve the world witnessed a historical event when the Pope repeatedly slapped a woman’s hand after she tugged on his arm in a forceful, Trump-like fashion. While the

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Donald R. McClarey

I Can See Why They Would Fear That

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—In his opening statement at Trump’s impeachment trial, Rep. Adam Schiff reminded the Senate of their solemn duty and the gravity of just what it is they will be discussing

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Donald R. McClarey

Stalin, You Conservative

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—Addressing a crowd earlier this week, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez declared that Joseph Stalin was actually a conservative or at least a center-right kind of guy. “Nobody was actually on the

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Donald R. McClarey

Sling Control

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: VALLEY OF ELAH—After local homegrown terrorist David slew Goliath with a fully automatic, high-capacity sling, Philistine activists began calling for common-sense bans on the dangerous weapons of mass destruction. “Nobody

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Donald R. McClarey

The Bee Gets Political

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: Every election, The Babylon Bee editorial board sees fit to endorse the very best choice for the nation. In 2016, back before Seth Dillon bought the site and stopped us from doing Christian

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Donald R. McClarey

Media Hardest Hit

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—Somber members of the press offered their thoughts and prayers that someone would start some violence at the gun rights rally in Virginia today. Reporters expressed their grief and condolences

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: That Was Close

News PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   GREENSBURY, AZ—Local Catholic woman Gabriella Perez was getting ready to tell her friend about her Catholic faith Monday morning. Her friend had expressed her agnosticism over the existence of God, and

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Donald R. McClarey

Liawatha to the Rescue

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: BOSTON, MA—Students in the dining hall at Boston University were in for a surprise when presidential hopeful Elizabeth Warren suddenly appeared above their heads, wearing pink fairy wings and holding

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Donald R. McClarey

Gulags-American Style!

Language advisory as to the above video. News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: DES MOINES, IA—After a Bernie Sanders organizer waxed poetic over the beauty of gulags and the need for reeducating the people, Sanders clarified that

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Donald R. McClarey

True

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—Many have been criticizing the left for their apparent unwillingness to say that killing terrorists is a good thing. Many suspected they just hated America or were being funded by

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Donald R. McClarey

Public Thieves

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   DES MOINES, IA—Authorities are warning that a gang of known criminals is currently holding a meeting to debate various plots to steal your money. The criminals are debating exactly how

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Donald R. McClarey

Get With It Iranians!

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: TEHRAN—As Iranians protested their government’s downing of a passenger jet, a frantic CNN reporter ran through the crowd lecturing them on how they were actually supposed to be shouting “Death to

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Donald R. McClarey

Arkancide: It’s Not Just For Humans Anymore

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   NEW YORK—In a tragic occurrence, the footage of Epstein’s suicide attempt was found hanging in its cell Friday in an apparent suicide. The footage reportedly strung itself up with

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Donald R. McClarey

Good, Evil and Crossfires

A man who has nothing which he is willing to fight for, nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety, is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept

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Donald R. McClarey

Polls

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—President Trump’s approval rating among terrorists hit an all-time low today according to a CNN poll. This comes just days after he killed several of them. Of those surveyed, only

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Donald R. McClarey

Abortion as Career Move

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   HOLLYWOOD, CA—At the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday night, Michelle Williams gave an impassioned speech about her acting career, and how if she hadn’t had the ability to knock

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Donald R. McClarey

Could Be

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: In our Dear BaBee column, we help readers by dispensing authentic, biblical answers to life’s tough questions. Dear BaBee, I got home from work the other day, and my wife

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Donald R. McClarey

CNN: Fake News R Us

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: U.S.—CNN has slammed the world’s best satire site, The Babylon Bee, after CNN executives realized that “fake news” articles on the website were getting at least as much social media traction

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Donald R. McClarey

Half Staff

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a press conference held on Capitol Hill Friday, mourning Democrat leaders called for flags to be flown half-mast to honor the death of Qasem Soleimani. Flags were spotted

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Donald R. McClarey

PopeWatch: Do the PopeSlap!

  News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—The nation’s church introverts applauded the Pope for slapping a woman’s hand after she yanked him in and refused to let go. Protestants and Catholics alike united to praise

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Donald R. McClarey

Three O’Clock in the Morning is Calling

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C—Hillary Clinton has slammed President Trump on Twitter for not taking a more “hands-off” approach to the protests in Iraq that threatened American lives at the embassy there. After

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Donald R. McClarey

All the News That Fits

    News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—The nation’s media outlets announced they were grieving today as an armed citizen stopped a mass shooting. “We grieve that this tragedy we could have exploited for weeks

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Donald R. McClarey

Peak Outrage 2020

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WORLD—The UN Panel on Outrage Change has confirmed the worst: global levels of outrage may reach the point of no return in 2020. Outrage levels previously reached dangerous highs during

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Donald R. McClarey

Out With Them All

    It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice. Ye are a factious

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Donald R. McClarey

Potter Inferno

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   WORLD—For a long time, it seemed as though Christians only liked two things: Jesus and burning books. From books of magic in the early church (because of the witchcraft) to

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Donald R. McClarey

The Farce is With Them

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:   U.S.—An echo was heard across the land this morning from sea to shining sea as progressives woke up after celebrating Impeachment Day and learned that Trump is still the

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Donald R. McClarey

Squirrel

  News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources in Congress, Mitch McConnell briefly distracted Democrats this morning while he signaled for hundreds of conservative judges to sneak by. “Hey, look over there — is

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Donald R. McClarey

Impeachment Explained

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: Impeachment can be confusing. But The Babylon Bee is here with an explainer so you will know how the process works and what it takes for Dems to snap their fingers

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Donald R. McClarey

Lessons

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee: LONDON—British progressives were already down from their huge losses in Thursday’s election, as they lost pretty much every contest to the Conservatives, from Dublingtonampton and Worcestershiresauce to Hogwarts and the Shire.

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Donald R. McClarey

You Don’t Say

  [3] Behold the inheritance of the Lord are children: the reward, the fruit of the womb. [4] As arrows in the hand of the mighty, so the children of them that have been shaken. [5] Blessed is the man

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